Friday, October 31, 2008

The Precious Klum-Seals and Their Seal Pups














It was absolutely impossible to chose a picture of Seal and Heidi Klum-Seal for this post because in ever single one they're both totally beautiful and look completely entranced with each other.
Bitches!

I kid, I kid!! I love the Klum-Seals, I want to be the Klum-Seals. Look! They're on Oprah! They probably went right home, had sex and then met up with Tim Gunn for a light dinner.

Now check out this aw and barf inducing interview with Seal in the Mail online:

'I was taken aback when I met her,' says Seal. 'I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I'd seen. I thought: "Wow! Whoever goes out with that girl is one lucky guy!...A month into our relationship, she told me she was pregnant, but was no longer with the father. I told her it didn't change the way I felt about her. Apart from being my wife, she's also my best friend.'

So cute!!! Plus he has Lupus, which who cares, except that I have Lupus and in my mind that makes us friends. Friends who don't have each other's phone numbers, but friends none the less.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Things the Dog Swallowed
















Slide show of what the dog done swallowed. Plus one snake.

Sign of the Apocolypse or Statement About the Enduring Nature of Man ????















6ft Lego man washes up on Brighton Beach, and it's not the 1st time! A different 6ft Lego man washed up on a Dutch beach in August.

What does this mean for the future of humanity?????
We may never know.

Phillies Win!!!!















I got a text from my sister last night saying that Broad Street in Philadelphia was on fire, and even though I wasn't watching the World Series, I knew the Phils had taken it home.

The last time the Phillies were in the World Series was in 1993, my sophomore year in High School. All summer our parents would drop me and my girl friends off at Veterans Stadium so we could cruise the stadium in short shorts, eat french fries and um, root for the Phils.

The whole area when effing crazy in the run up to the series, and even crazier when they lost.
Some of the '93 Phillies lived in my town, including Mitch Williams, who gave up the last hit to lose the world series, and the next morning all the kids in my high school were bragging about throwing rocks and eggs at their houses and tearing up their lawns with their cars.
People were seriously upset. Serious as a heart attack at an Alzheimer convention.

It took 15 years but we're back on top!!!! Here's some pictures of the glory and the mayhem.





























Wednesday, October 29, 2008

New Pictures of Mercury





















Cool huh???
Mercury Messenger flew by the planet earlier this week and got a bunch of new pics.
One of the interesting things is that this (above) is a color photo, the planet's as grey as a soggy newspaper.















Here's a color adjusted picture NASA put out that shows all the different minerals and whatnot. Not what it really looks like but TRIPPY!

Record Breaking Weirdness

This lovely, half naked, English lady is Sara Burge. She has just broken the world record for plastic surgery with more than 100 procedures.
What's really weird is her motivations. Her first surgeries were reconstructive after being beaten and left for dead. Sorry Sara, that horrible.

But the next hundred? To look like Barbie.
What?

Then the second weird part is that she claimed her most modified title from Cindy Jackson who got all her plastic surgery to look like Barbie too.

I do not blame Barbie.

I Now Pronounce You Man and Kitty

As you may or may not know, when I first moved to San Francisco, in the depths of the bursted dotcom bubble, one of my many jobs was assembling Hello Kitty gift baskets.

I don't want to go into the whole traumatic thing but I will tell you that Hello Kitty is a cruel, cruel mistress. I was the only white person working there and they all insisted on calling me white girl (exclusively) and for some reason (whiteness) I was made to wear a totally different uniform from everyone. I also got fired on my last day for some reason. Bizarre.

I can however tie the tiniest bows you've ever seen. Oh and I sometimes got to wear a Hello Kitty costume and hand out balloons to children. That was cool.

I digress. My point is I'm ambivalent about the Kitty. So use your own judgment to well, judge these Hello Kitty wedding dresses.
Yes wedding dresses. (more here) For me, it's def a nay-no.
Confidential to men: I suggest steering clear of babes who fantasize about this tomfoolery.























Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Babies for Obama!
















FINALLY! A website with nothing but pictures of Barack Obama holding babies and little kids. Well and Biden and Michelle too. (No, not Barack holding Biden, Biden holding babies.)
What's it called???
Duh!
YesWeCan(holdbabies).com You're welcome.


Class it up You!

Dispatch from my bff Alika in SD who joined me in the colossal mistake of mixing Boones Farm and Tequila this past weekend:
I have a new edition of prints made. They are printed by IO labs on german etching paper in an edition of 20, and measure 10" x 13", at $50.00 ea. The image is a portrait of Bianca Jagger a la seventies. They are available directly from me, by simply dropping me a line, or very soon available at these online gallery/stores : http://www.littlepaperplanes.com, http://www.rowanmorrison.com/ , and http://www.cairocollection.blogspot.com/

This is she, 'Bianca'. I saw them this weekend and severely lamented my lack of $50. Woe!!! They're totally beautiful, and if you buy one, in 5 years you can brag to everyone about how you collected Alika Coopers WAY before she was all famous and expensive.
I know you love to brag.
alikacooper.com

Let's Make a Pact to NOT Get Pregnant

Do you remember the big ho-ha this summer about those Massachusetts teens who supposedly had a 'pregnancy pact'? It was a big deal at first but now that they're giving birth the spotlight's somewhere else, which is typical of this country.

Bitterness aside check out this really thoughtful article in Boston Mag with a follow up of some of the girls who were and one girl who isn't pregnant. It's kind of heartbreaking cause it make the point that these poor girls basically had nothing to lose by giving birth so early. Economically, socially and educationally they were already at the ass end of the gravy train. And since the great majority of them have little or no family life to begin with, what they did have to gain was a new family.
It's another long one but interesting.

Dirty and Distinguished

I usually don't like to recommend anything Playboy since I find Hef so gross and his standards of lady hotness a little restricted (and blond) but I urge you, as a fellow patriot, to take Playboy's Presidential Sex Quiz.

I totally shocked myself by getting only one wrong! Go me!!! I honestly think that 'Mount Gushmore' is a great nickname for Lyndon Johnson's wiener. It's much more presidential than what he actually called it, a name I found very uninspired.
Boo Lyndon, boo.

Just as an aside, I want to give a quick and incredulous, REALLY?????? to Hugh Hefner's new 'girlfriends', 18 year old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon. I don't care that they have felony aggravated assault charges against them (there's not exactly a line of Rhodes Scholars in front of the mansion)...but check out this pull from Karissa's myspace, "Obstacles r put into your life to see if wut u want is worth fighting for!!!"

Who does she think she is??? A text message from Prince?? In your dreams Karissa.

Also, my sister, WHO LIVED IN LA, and knows things, said Hugh doesn't have sex with his girlfriends, he just makes them watch gay porn in bed with him. Just telling you what I heard people.

Monday, October 27, 2008

World's Funniest Baby

Yay! Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's baby, Archie Arnett, was born Saturday evening!

Good news is the kid's destined for greatness, bad news: Amy isn't going to be back on SNL, EVER!!! Noooooooooooooo!! Time to pick up the slack, slackers.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Have a GREAT Weekend

Don't forget about me.
I'll end this all animals, politics, and porn week with disapproving bunnies.
You're welcome.

WTF is up With Voting on Tuesdays????

I mean, it's so dumb right??? We all have to work on Tuesdays which means you either have to go to the polling place before work which, like my own reality show, is not going to happen, or you have to go after work.

After work in November it's dark, and there's a lot of dudes who hang out on the corner of Telegraph and 40th streets, between me and my polling place, who seek the attention of young females. Like myself.

Duh, I'm obvi going to vote regardless, but that's because politics are an all consuming occupation for me. If I was less interested and maybe smart enough to figure out that my electronic ballot was just going to be thrown out anyway, I might not want to put in the effort.

SO...WTF is up with voting on Tuesdays?? Most other developed countries vote over the weekend, why are we so persecuted?

Well apparently it made perfect sense in 1845 when our founding white dudes in Congress decided that Tuesday was the day. According to this op-ed in the NYTimes: To understand the decision Congress made that year, let’s imagine ourselves as members of early agrarian American society. Saturday was for farming, Sunday was the Lord’s day, Monday was required for travel to the county seat where the polling places were, Tuesday you voted, Wednesday you returned home, and Thursday it was back to work.

I mean, nothing else has changed since 1845 right? We still own slaves, don't have toilets, wear wool stockings in Summer and have open sewers in the streets. So why should we change any of our mentally disabled election laws???
Gawd!

Porno for Palin

This is said porn actress dressed as Sarah Palin, for the major motion porno, 'Nalin' Palin'
Just go ahead and admit that you're stunned, impressed, confused and maybe a little antsy in your pants.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Adventure Smurf













See this dude? He's 25, English, and traveling the world for 3 weeks dressed as a Smurf.
What? You say.

Why it's the oldest story in the book. Young Ian Tomkins owns a costume shop in Newbury. Knowing that the Smurfs 50th anniversary was upon us he ordered 500 smurf costumes from China to meet his neighbors', Smurf celebration needs. Why 500? That's the smallest number of Smurf costumes you can order from this factory in China.

Whoops! 500 people didn't want Smurf costumes. So, duh, time to travel the world dressed as a Smurf selling said costumes to a broader audience.

Safe travels Ian! Watch out for Gargamel, and gay bashers, and children with sticky fingers.

Oh, And, Uh...

This is the woman playing Sarah Palin in the upcoming Hustler porno, 'Nailin' Palin'. Just FYI. I wouldn't mind if she played me in a made for TV movie. By the way, my boobs are totally that big.

This is All I Have to Say on the Subject

I wasn't going to say anything about the whole, 'Palin $150k wardrobe-gate shenanigans' thing because I'm deeply, deeply jealous that she got all those free clothes.

Do you know how much Forever 21 and Daisy Fuentes for Kohl's I could buy for that kind of cash-ola???? Uh, yeah, a lot. That's enough funky biz casual for the rest of my life.















Huffpo managed to find my angle though...apparently Ms. Sarah was mighty pissed at the wardrobe lady at SNL last weekend. The scuffle was wardrobe based in nature. See they (unAmerican, lefty, New Yorkers) wanted her to wear the same outfit Tina Fey was going to wear, that red blazer, which references the old down-home Palin. Palin, on the other hand, wanted to wear her new fancy duds. That's why they call it a carefully controlled image.

Her image has changed since she was rescued from the meth capital of the Universe, she's pretend rich now wardrobe lady! Get it right!!!

Also she was not funny. Sorry, she just wasn't.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

For Your Enjoyment Part 2

Wheelbarrow full of monkeys (from cuteoverload)



















Collage of funny McCain photos (from Gawker)

















Both amuse me greatly. Have a nice hump night

For Your Enjoyment

JT checks out Rihanna's back end. Obvi you would too. In fact you probably are right now!! Me too. Don't tell Chris Brown.





















AND! This strange, creative man and his weaponized doggie.











Just for fun people! Enjoy your humpday!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sick

I'm going to recommend a movie to you that's not an easy sell.
It's called Sick and it's a documentary about Bob Flanagan, artist, S&M enthusiast, and one of the oldest surviving cystic fibrosis sufferers.

I am not going to lie to you, there is some SUPER graphic S&M scenes but if you can't take it (and if you're the average dude, believe me, you can't) you can just watch the dvd with one hand on the fast forward button and the other in front of your eyes. Which...I will admit I did.

I swear though!!! It's worth it. It is literally, one of the most touching movies I've ever seen, and, believe me, I did not pop it in thinking I was going to watch the whole thing.

Obvi it's complicated but his attitude to S&M is all about taking back control of his body. Like, 'Fuck you CF! You call that pain??? I can do way worse to myself and get off on it!' It's weirdly heroic.

Plus there's so many great scenes that show off Bob's humor, and well humanity, through all the fucking crazy pain of his CF. There's this awesome teenage CF sufferer who uses her make a wish foundation wish to go visit Bob and his dominatrix partner Sheree in LA, and they take her to get her nipples pierced! It's a lot more touching than it sounds. I actually suspect it doesn't sound touching at all.

Anyway, check it out! Your bravery will be rewarded, and don't forget: just fast forward though anything you don't want to watch. Frankly even some of the non S&M scenes in the 1st half of the movie are skip-able.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Tivo Worthy

Barack's going to be on SNL the weekend before the election!!


















Seth Meyers, who's now the head writer, got drunk at this week's after party and blurted out the news. Awesome!
Please tell me there's not some kind of obscure jinx involved.

I mean, the UFO Alien did pick Obama over the summer, so I guess we have nothing to worry about, right?

Hippy for Hipsters

Like all ex-hippies, I now hate hippies. This is exasperated by living next door to what is basically a living museum of hippies, Berkeley.
HOWEVER the hippies do have some crunchy wisdom to impart. Try not to be prejudiced due to wackiness. Also, do not call me a hippy















If you live in the Bay Area, or are a Phish fan, you probably know that this is a girl using an ear candle. Maybe you got that anyway since she has a flaming candle sticking out of her ear.

I know this looks impossibly ridiculous but ear candles are awesome! They somehow suck ear wax out of your ear, it feels really good, and it's a funny thing to do on a rainy day. I first got into them because I was looking for a cure to my loud ass voice. I had this theory that it was because my hearing was bad and that if I got my ears all clean I would be able to hear how loud I was being. Um, obvi didn't work. I've come to terms with being loud and proud but I kept the ear candles.

Try them if you dare to set your ear on fire, and then admire your sucked out ear wax. Make it a competition with friends

Warning:
Just don't do it alone, you need a friend and this girl is a fool not to having some tinfoil to catch that ash in.














The neti pot. Hippies want to clean out all the various orifices of their bodies naturally, and the nose and sinus cavity are no exception. This post is getting gross right? Sorry.

Seriously though, I could open a church of the neti pot, that's how much I love this weird little gravy boat. You should prob do it every day but pouring warm salty water into one nostril and out the other is not all that fun. Not surprisingly.

Works great if you think you're getting a cold or already have one, if you have a head ache that won't go away, when you're hung over or if you just have a runny nose.

Warning: Do not do this in front of anyone, especially someone you are romantically involved with. Even now the boyfriend will spontaneously break into laughter thinking about the demo I did for him. Now we give each other a wide berth while nasally irrigating.














This last one's only for people who actually live near Berkeley. Sorry.

Now there's lots of fruity vegetarian, vegan macrobiotic, tofu and raw restaurants that I like to go to, but I try not to inflict them on anyone but the boyfriend. I would never suggest anyone who can't handle a heaping helping of weirdos go to any of these places, but I will suggest you go to Amanda's.

Yes it's healthy, yes it's in downtown Berkeley, yes they have a really complex composting and recycling system and yes they make their own sodas in compostable cups, but when you get down to it its still burgers and fries.

Amanda's has become my #1 hangover spot because you get all the life sustaining qualities of junk food but without being forced to make the Sophie's choice of whether to run to the bathroom or fall asleep right after. Also it's cheap as hell, a burger (or a veggie burger) is only $3.75, and it's Niman Ranch! Believe it!

Warning:
The clientele is annoying as hell and can take upwards of a year to order. Plus they make you sit at communal tables which is not my favorite as I can be pretty misanthropic when I'm eating.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Another Long Read About Transgendered Kids















The Atlantic brings the heat again with a really interesting (and really long) article about the challenges of raising kids who may or may not be transgendered but definitely aren't happy.

I was def always in the camp that said let the little rug rats dress and act like they want, but this article brings up some good points. Like, are we indulging our kids too much? What if black kids were saying they desperately wanted to be white? Are some of these kids just pre-gay? Are they pre-gay and think it's more normal to be trans than in a gay or lesbian relationship?????? No body agrees!!! And I feel super bad for these parents.

Anyway, if you're interested then it's a great article, and if you aren't then I promise to post a cute picture of a doggy.

Hold Me, I'm Scared!













I'm the kind of shitty sex kitten that doesn't wear heels unless someone's committing to spend their life with someone else, so this largely doesn't effect me, but HOLY JESUS the shoes for Spring are nightmare inducing.
WTF!!!
How in the holy heck are you women doing this?? I transition into super bitch if my feet are trussed up in a G rated version of this for a service and a reception!! After one particularly epic wedding I couldn't feel 4 of my toes for almost a week. Two on each foot.

And, I don't know if you can tell, but the heels of these are little pan-African fertility idols. Which seems, somehow, I don't know, a little fucked. But what do I know? I got excited because the bf gave me a vintage Miller Hi Life pin for my birthday.
(It's so rad too, it's of a 6 pack, sweet!)






Anyway check out the NYTimes slide show. You'll see that your choice for shoes is either death defying or ugly as sin.
So...good luck with that.

Pug Update!!

Here's the scurvy scalawag that beat Pickle the pug at the pug costume meet-up.














It's a pirate pug being eaten by a shark. Clearly. I don't know, it has more parts too it, but I def think Pickle looked cuter. And more dangerous.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Kooky Old White Man Lies About Past

















I'm trying to run a clean campaign here but the truth is the truth. I can't just get off the straight talk express because I want a beer and a good night's sleep.
You see, I must trash talk McCain.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rolling Stone has an awesome article that's trash talk-licious. Did you know McCain is a shitty pilot with daddy issues???

John Sidney McCain III and George Walker Bush both represent the third generation of American dynasties. Both were born into positions of privilege against which they rebelled into mediocrity. Both developed an uncanny social intelligence that allowed them to skate by with a minimum of mental exertion. Both struggled with booze and loutish behavior. At each step, with the aid of their fathers' powerful friends, both failed upwardIn one vital respect, however, the comparison is deeply unfair to the current president: George W. Bush was a much better pilot.

BURN!!!!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steven Almond at Nerve has a rundown of McCain's womanizing, mysoginistic ways. Featuring this gem of a joke John likes to trot out:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, "Where is that marvelous ape?"

Note that the article was written by a MAN, not another super sensitive boner-killer feminazi.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------











And lastly, you know that guy from the last debate who McCain said probably hadn't heard about Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac before this current financial crisis started?? (pictured left)

Yeah, he had. He probably heard about them while he was getting his BA in PoliSci or his Masters in Legal Studies, or his SECOND Masters in Public Administration.
And yes, he did think it was condescending. Could this have anything to do with the fact that he's a young black man??? Nah!

Jill Biden = Rad Lady













Since Joe Biden is basically a non-entity in this race you're probably deafened by the Jill Biden silence. She's not black, didn't have a drug problem, and never shot anything out of a helicopter. Uh, so who cares?

Maybe you should check out the Vogue profile on her. She seems totally rad! It's worth noting that Joe Biden is completely surrounded on all sides by smart, awesome women, including his like 700 sisters and 10,000 nieces.

I'm personally in to her because she's from South Jersey, and is a community college teacher, but I think you'll pick up on her vibe after you read this -

It wasn't all that long ago that Jill Biden was forbidding her husband to run for president. She tells a funny story about a day when a bunch of Democratic Party bigwigs had planted themselves in her living room to try to convince Joe Biden that 2004 was his year to unseat George Bush. Jill was sitting out by the pool in a bikini—fuming. Unable to stand it any longer, she got up, found a Magic Marker, and wrote the word no across her stomach and then paraded through the meeting. "They got the message," she says with a laugh.

Feel me?? Plus! She was 53 at the time and still willing to use her body to send a political message.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Oh the Huge Manatees














I know I've said it a million times, but I love reality TV. It's no secret.
But some of the shows I watch and the way I watch are a bit on the, well, secret side. Living alone helps.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is like that, I'm a little reluctant to say I watch it. I mean it's so cheesy and fakey and you're always hearing stories about the shit going all kinds of wrong after the production crew leaves. Plus do not even get me started on that Ty Pennington character. Gawd.

While I won't go so far as to set a season pass, I will let you know that i rarely miss an episode. That I watch it is embarrassing, how I watch it is even worse. I watch the 1st 10 minutes to hear the sob story and I cry. Then I fast forward through the next 40 minutes right up until they move the bus so I can watch the family's reaction to their new house. Then I cry again, if it's a good one, but they know what they're doing - they rarely fail to get the emotional money shot.

Even though I'm crying I still have my cynical jerk hat on and I'm constantly wondering how they're going to pay the taxes on all their new shit, and what they're going to do with a 'Horton Hears a Who' bedroom when their daughter isn't 6 anymore. So I was super psyched to see a day by day profile of EM:HE in the NYTimes Mag this weekend.

I learned lots of new facts, like, they actually do do it all in a week, they do make 4 year olds do retakes till they steer their little wheelchairs across the lawn correctly, and ABC pays for exactly nothing besides the cast and crew.

Here's my favorite part:

'Turning a charity event into a spectacle — and allowing donors to see recipients weep with joy — was a fairly common practice at the turn of the last century. In 1891, the Christmas Society organized an event at Madison Square Garden where the wealthy were invited to buy tickets to watch poor children open Christmas presents on the floor below. Around this time, in New York and elsewhere, there were Bowery Christmas dinners, where the wealthy paid to watch the poor eat a sumptuous feast. There were even specialized events for watching groups of orphans, African-Americans or even newsboys get their fill.'

Did you know that??? See, olde tyme people are just as bad as we are. Or I am, at least.

The Unbearable Dickishness of Being

Ugh!!! I knew it!!!!!
Milan Kundera is a RAT!!!

I used to be super into Kundera in high school and college. Reading him made me feel international and smartly and snooty, which I really liked back then.

The last book I read of his was 'The Joke' while I was in Prague back in 2000. Kind of a no brainer to read Kundera in the Czech Republic cause he's their most famous writer, duh.
I just ended up getting tired of him though bc he obvi has issues with women and his men characters are so so super narcissistic.

Uh, for instance, one of the jokes of 'The Joke' has this middle aged lady getting tossed off by her husband for a younger woman. Then she tries to seek revenge by sleeping with his rival, but during he gets grossed out cause her body is all old. Then she tries to commit suicide by taking a handful of aspirin but SURPRISE! They're laxatives, and in the last scene she's rushing to the bathroom and shits all over everything, in front of every one. OMG hilarious!!!

Anyway so Kudera misogynist, but what's new, the dude is almost 80 so that's like a given.

BUT WAIT! Because of 'The Joke' and a lot of his other writings Kundera's been seen as a mascot for anti-totalitarianism and has been pretty outspoken against Communism both before and after the Russian Invasion in '68.

Today though, word is out that in his early 20's he informed on a Western secret agent to the Czech secret police!!! The agent was arrested, and could have been put to death but was instead sent to work in a URANIUM MINE for 14 fucking years.

WTFuck Milan!!??!! That's super shitty! You suck!

Friday, October 10, 2008

TGIF Suckers















I know the economy is in the crapper but lets enjoy the simple pleasures...like my friend Rachel's pug Pickle, dressed up in the beginnings of her panda Halloween costume.
Angry pug + costume = awesome.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Update!!! Pickle as panda came in 2nd to some kind of jerk pug in a pirate suit at the pug costume meet up. Please, pirates are so 2004.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Reunited and it Feels so GOOD!


















And we're back!!!
Hope for funny couples everywhere!

Body Parts! Gross!

3 years ago I read this article in the NYTimes about early research into face transplants while I was high, and it totally freaked me out. Actually the Times had a bunch of scary articles around that time, like this one about human/animal amalgams used for medical purposes.
Way to freak me out Times. Yikes!

Um, anyway so I got totally icked out, but then before you know it face transplants are a go! And it's only really freaky because the 1st person they chose to get a donor face ended up being this suicidal French woman whose dog ate half her face off after she tried to overdose on painkillers.
I guess the face eating woke her up. As it would.

News today from East Coast correspondent Jeff, the Krauts bring us the 1st double arm transplant. How weird would that be to have no arms for 6 years (stupid farm machinery) and then to wake up with 2 arms that weren't even yours but that you could use.

Obvi it would be awesome to be able to like go to the bathroom by yourself again, but what a trip! I just hope they didn't use criminal mastermind arms because maybe you can control one arm but you're no match for 2 evil arms. What, are you going to foot wrestle them??

Oh Those Feminazi Boner-killers

Honestly, I never heard about this guy before but: Jim Quinn, who has an apparently, VERY socially conservative radio program, thinks we get our feminist member cards at Planned Parenthood after we abort our 1st fetus. Then I guess, we eat the fetus.
Feminists, not so much with the mothering.

What??? Everyone knows you get your card after you provide proof you've laughed in the face of a naked man while pointing at his wiener and holding up your pinky finger. Also it can take 6-8 weeks. No, just kidding, they over night it.

He says Gloria Steinem hates on Ms. Palin because, "Palin blew it...she refused the sacrificial right of passage, better known as the Eucharist of the feminist church: abortion. That's right. She declined to slaughter her own unborn child, Trig, to the goddess of feminism, even after doctors told her that he was one of those Down syndrome 'throw-aways.' "

following it up with.."Gloria Steinem, think(s) the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence should've read, 'All women are endowed by Mother Earth with an inalienable right to eat their own young,'"

I'm sorry, that's just gross.
Question: Is there someone out there who really thinks feminists eat their aborted fetuses?? With relish? And possibly even with relish??? I think the public school system is letting them down. No child left behind my ass.

Breaking Toilet Lady Related News!!














God please place a special blessing on my friend Cormac for sending this my way...

THE TOILET LADY'S BOYFRIEND WINS THE LOTTO!!!!

First of all I would like to say, "Fuck you!" to the Toilet Lady's boyfriend. I play the lotto at least twice a week and am still broke.

First he get's only probation for letting her sit on the toilet for 2 years, though for a while at the end they had no choice since her butt was fused to the seat, then he buys a stupid scratcher and wins 20 large. PLUS it was the 2nd time he had won $$$ in the lotto in the past year. WTF?

On second thought, I salute you Toilet Lady's boyfriend, you are truly made of Teflon. Also if you get a chance can you send me some numbers for the California Super Lotto Plus??
Thanks