Wait, NEW NEW

Like, for real new!

I'm doing a mini project where I read all the Little House on the Prairie books and tell you about it.

Come on, it'll be a fun way to spend the winter. You and me, just like old times baby!

Go there now!
Get Psyched on the Prairie!

As always, please email me to correct my spelling and grammar.

Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Rockin' Every Day

I would say I'm most known (in person) for my big ass but

Watermelon Woman positively puts me to shame. For shame booty.

Brazil's Andressa Soares, who, as you might have guessed, also goes by the sobriquet Watermelon Woman, really, really takes it to the next level.

As you can, ahem, probs see.

Andressa's created a singing, dancing and (Playboy) modeling career our of that amazingly out of proportion booty. Way bigger than some sad sex tape and a third rate reality show that even I can't watch. So, eat it Kim Kardassian. (Plus my friend James met Kim and said her ass wasn't even all that big; she's just like 4ft tall so it looks big on camera. Pfffft.)

She's rich, she's famous and yet she still takes time to challenge Brazil's traditional beauty ideals:

One day I had an interview with a woman who said that before me, women were always looking to put silicone in their breasts. Only 20 or 30 percent would look for silicone to be applied in their butt...Nowadays 85 percent of women demand silicone for the butt and 65 percent for the breasts.'

I mean, you have to put silicone somewhere right?

Why can't I help loving her?? Read the interview in Vice. I've never heard someone so positive and unequivocal about their fame. Ah, refreshing!!

Happy Terrorist Fist Jab Day, Ya'll

Can you BELIEVE it's only been a year?? Think about how everyone absolutely swoons at the mere mention of Michelle's name now.

What in gods name is she wearing? Where can I get it? Is it pilates??? And why can't I go pick tomatoes with her in in her organic White House garden?!!??

For reals thought, it was only one thin year ago that everyone thought she was an ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (possibly a domestic terrorist) who is NOT PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN.

Check out this Gawker post about how the Obamas have ingeniously emasculated the fist jab by giving daps to whitey. It makes whitey feel cool, and it makes daps less scary.
It's become the 'Bling' of hand gestures.

Well Obvi

Adam Lambert's BF - HOT.

He kind of has a young Johnny Depp as an American Apparel model thing going on, don't you think?

I didn't watch the Idol so I don't really know what the kid sounds like but I do know that the whole internet was all, 'OMG GAYZ????' for months which I though was kind of hysterical.

He's quite obvi gay, right?

Anyway, last night was their first official 'we're gay' outing together, which I think was a pretty well orchestrated way to get everyone to shut up already without having to go all Lance Bass, 'I'm Gay' on the cover of People.

Especially if Lady Gaga is going to be there performing Poker Face live. JEALOUS!

Well, have fun being young, rich, and beautiful boys.

Understandable

The lovely Lady Gaga, newly single lady, wants a barely legal foursome with the Jonas Brothers. Now say what you will about the brothers Jonas but compare and contrast to who I had to squee over when I was a tween. Um, no contest.

Hot on the heels of the blind humping the blind, and the gay male prom queen, check out Sara Wilson's photos of the Texas School for the Blind and Visually Impaired's prom!

I remember last year overhearing a conversation a couple was having as they were reuniting before prom. She grabbed his hand and ran his fingers along the sequins of her dress, to the curls in her hair, and to the strand of pearls around her neck. His response was an exuberant, “Wow, you look so beautiful!” I know that she felt beautiful.

Good News!

For those of us living and humping in California, it's been a rough week. For some unknown, bizzaro-world reason the CA Supreme Court upheld Prop 8, the Constitutional ban on gay mariage. Sigh.

HOWEVER! In a sign that we just need all the old people to die already (sorry old people) Fairfax High, outside LA elected an openly gay MALE student as their Prom Queen. Aw!

"At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen. Things have changed and it's no longer just about who has the most friends or who wears the coolest clothes," Garcia told the crowd of seniors. "Sure, I'm not your typical prom queen candidate. There's more to me than meets the eye."

It's really rather heartwarming!

Um, Just In Case You Were Wondering...

Maybe you've seen a porno with women ejaculating (nothing wrong with that). Did your shenanigans meter go off? Were you like, 'Whatever porno, no such thing'?

That's what the British Board of Film Classification said when they saw 2002's British Cum Queens and demanded that a 6 minute lady ejaculation scene be censored. Apparently peeing on someone in an English porno is verboten and that's what they thought it was.

Well guess what Chesterfield Bottomtooth, SCIENCE says, 'Yes indeed, girls can blow a wad!' Check out, Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Female Ejaculation (but Were Afraid to Ask)

Confidential to the ladies: There's some, ahem, 'how to tips' at the bottom if you're interested in spoiling your bedsheets tonight.

The Blind Humping the Blind

Check out this super interesting article about how blind people fall in lust despite not being able to see each other. You're probably thinking it's all very Laura Dern and Rocky in Mask but many blind folk, like most sighted jerks, want to be associated with a hottie, even if they can't appreciate or even imagine what 'blond' means.

'When I was a teenager, I went to a boarding school for blind children where the sound of wildly rushing male and female hormones could be heard on every corridor. I particularly remember a new girl arriving. No one took much notice in her first few weeks... until one lad said they'd heard she was blonde....she suddenly started getting a lot of attention after her hair colour was made known. Of course, few of her admirers could see her crowning glory, or even knew that blonde was a kind of light yellowy brown, but because "blondes" are talked about as desirable...she became very popular.'

So the blind can be superficial (they're people right??) but check this out, the author, Damon Rose, also talks about how good looking sighted people will, apropos of nothing, start describing themselves to him just so he knows they're good looking. 'Some people just can't bear the idea that the blind person in the room won't consider them special or even worth talking to... until they tell you how good looking they are.'

Weird, huh??