Crafts

I'll Shake Your City

You might be aware, since the movie Milk is opening today, that today's also the 30th anniversary of the assassination of Harvey Milk and George Moscone. What's crazy is that their murders happened only 9 days after the mass suicides of Jonestown in Guyana.
Guyana's obvi not in SF but basically everyone who moved down there was from SF plus there was a political and journalistic contingent there that got all shot up and murdered too.

It's kind of amazing to think of 2 such insane things happening here in such a short amount of time. I mean NOTHING happens here anymore. Well, everyone's hard at work developing new ways for you to waste time on facebook and with your iPhone, but that's about it.

Check out the Chronicle's 3 part series on '10 days that shook the city'
It will BLOW YOUR MIND!!!!!!!

Who's Getting Pardoned Today

Bush rolled out his next round of pardons today.
The pardon of Pecan and Pumpkin (shown) appear to have been made on human right grounds.

From Japan, Obvi

Be careful not to singe the fluffiness.

This is to make up for posting those two depressing stories this morning.

Mail Man Get's Probation, My Admiration

Here's another poor bastard for you! Why don't you give thanks you aren't Steven Padgett, a North Carolina mailman who for years hadn't been delivering anyone's junk mail.
Good!

Poor guy couldn't keep up with the tight schedule the Postal Service made him keep so he started only delivering 1st and 2nd class mail. The rest was hidden in his garage or BURIED in his backyard. Whoa!
Check out this picture

That's a lot of junk mail!!
He was facing 3 years in jail and a $250,000 fine but luckily he only got probation.



Um, 3 years in jail for not delivering junk mail? Really? What he should have gotten was some home baked cookies and a hug!

You Seem 'Nice'

On BART this morning I spotted this headline in the newspaper of the guy in front of me:

'Nice guy' fatally shot outside S.F. bar

The quotes are meant to represent what friends said about him, but doesn't it just seem sarcastic? Plus then this is the photo they run of the poor guy -

This is his very last chance to make an impression on the world and this is what he gets??? Sarcastic 'nice guy' quotes and then probably the worst picture ever taken of him.

Plus he was shot out on Broadway in SF where all the strip clubs are, in front of a smut shop, which he will now always be associated with. I do not want my memorial anywhere near strip clubs and drunk horny tourists.

So, RIP Richard Barrett, sorry you got such a bum rap. You seemed so 'nice', plus the article says that your drink was Patron and that's my fancy drink of choice too.

Turkey

Who's Getting Pardoned

George Bush is so weird! I will never get over it!
One second he seems like the embodiment of a sneer, and the next he just seems like this goofy, oblivious guy happy just to be around.

Evidence of goofy obliviousness.

Oh hey, Paul, congrats on that Nobel Prize! Now what did you win that for again??? I forgot, well good job anyway!

Related: How cute is Paul Krugman in this photo? Answer: Of woodland gnome-like proportions!






I also expected so pretty evil pardons coming off Bush's desk.
Maybe they're still to come but here's who got pardoned this week - Leslie Owen Collier who plead guilty to killing 3 bald eagles with poisoned hamburger meat, and Fugees collaborator and drug smuggler John Forte. It's weird that he's pardoning Collier, since, you know, bald eagles = freedom, but as far as I can tell it's because his motivations were anti-environmentalist. I guess.
Forte apears have been pardoned because he went to Exeter which is a schmancy private academy for rich people in New Hampshire.

The rest of the list is some dirty bankers, a whole lot of drug related offences for some reason, and more hunters. Plus unlawful use of food stamps. Weird!

Scary!!! Even Without Swords

So you know how on Sunday guards at the Scientology Celebrity Center in Hollywood shot and killed that guy who ran towards them screaming and waiving a 5ft Samurai sword?

I know we all hate on Scientology but you would have totes shot him too! Not only is 5 feet of sword rather a lot, but look at this dude!!

Okay, neck tatoos, fine, I've seen lots of those on very nice people. The severeness of the hair cut lends an air of control freakiness and the flavor saver an air of douchery.
But the eyes people! This man is not thinking about puppies or picking up the groceries. Those eyes say I'm out to do some BIBLICAL shit, watch out!

Pilgrims

2 Great One's From Page 6

1. From ODB's Mom:
"My son would have been at that rally in Chicago when the first African- American president was elected, and I'm sure he would have gone up onstage and grabbed the microphone as only he could,"
Aw, RIP Old Dirty Bastard. BTW, did you know he had 13 kids?? Yowza!

2. A 40 yr old, Upper West Side Rabbi paid $2,500 in a charity auction to go on a date with Oksana Baiul.
"Well, I'm single, it's for charity, and she seems like a nice Jewish girl. I guess I'm the luckiest guy in my congregation."
Good luck with that Rabbi!

A Bush Does Something Cute

Not that kind of bush, and not that kind of bush either, yeesh! The lady Bush twins took Sasha and Malia on a tour of the White House and they all jumped on the beds. C'mon...that's cute.

Plus as I predicted, Sasha and Malia will be going to Sidwell Friends. I didn't go to a Quaker high school but I lived in a Quaker town and our sports teams were the Quakers so I highly endorse this turn of educational events.
Go Quakers!

Why Am I Never Invited to the Guinea Pig Festival???

I guess because it's held every year in Peru, a country I've never been too. Must change that.

There's costumed guinea pigs in guinea pig fashion shows.
He's a miner!!!




























And good guinea pig eatin'!













What more could you want!?
Check out the whole slide show, but the last two pictures rather graphically depict guinea pig cuisine. You've been warned.

Oh!!!! Super Nasty!

From FFFFOUND a whale decomposes on a city street. Don't have more info cause everything's in Russian, but, you know, what more do you need to know?
Do check out the Russian site though, it's all about over turned tractor trailers!
Awesome!!!

From the Dept. of Awwwwww!

I usually hate hearing about pets who get expensive medical treatments while 10 zillions of Americans go uninsured. but, good lord! What's cuter than this??????

This little differently abled bunny, Ethel, came down with a mystery illness earlier this year that left her back legs paralyzed. Months of bunny depression followed but sweet Ethel is back on her paws with this custom made cart.

While near the top of the cuteness charts, I will say bunnies make shitty pets. My friend Erin and I had a bunny, Mr. Bun, and it seemed that Mr. Bun's only goal in life was to pee on everything I owned, knock over my mixed drinks and bite me.
He was kind of a jerk. I'm sure Ethel is much better behaved.

The Great White Jail

That's what Margret Truman called the White House while her dad was the prez. You don't need to take a college course to tell you that it's weird for your dad to be the Commander in Chief of the GD free world, and to live in the White House.





Maybe that's why Tad Lincoln struck back by idling away the hours kicking balls at mirrors. Sounds like fun right?

Celeb Randomnicity

Prince likes carrot soup. Wonder how his house is decorated??
"a Lucite grand piano with a gold-colored “Artist Formerly Known as Prince” symbol suspended over it... New Age music [plays] in the living room, where a TV screen shows images of bearded men playing flutes... purple thrones on either side of a fireplace, and, nearby, along a hallway, photographs of himself, in a Moroccan villa, in various states of undress."


Everyone loves Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock, but for REALS the guy is a total dick. NY Mag asked him how it was kissing Jennifer Aniston on last weeks episode, to which he gallantly replied, "It was painful, I mean, every man who's had to make out with her in TV and movies — I don't know how they do it."
Nice dick. You scream obscenities at your daughter with that mouth?

















RiRi and Chris Brown get matching-ish tattoos.

NO!!!!!!!!!!

Rumors are all aswirl that the Roots are going to stop touring to, I can hardly speak it....BECOME THE HOUSE BAND FOR JIMMY FALLON when he takes over from Conan.

You do not mix awesome things with irritating things!

Would you buy a down comforter that came with a perpetual house fly?????
NO!!!

It reminds me of how Andrea Zuckerman really ruined the 1st 5 seasons of 90210. Geez my Mom looked more like a Beverly Hills teenager than she did.

So now I have to Tivo Jimmy Fallon?? Ugh!

Fatty-back Alert

Do you have friends or relatives or weird neighbors who think their pets are people? Then you know how that always ends - uncomfortably fat doggies.

I guess this is a really big problem with service pets. You're all, thanks for keeping me from getting run over in the street, here's an entire boiled chicken.

Well there's a solution for every problem and leave it to those wacky Brits to come up with pitting 8 hugely fatty pets against each other the hopes of becoming Brittan's. Next. Top. Fattyback.
Er, I mean, be crowned 2008's pet fit club champ!!!
The 8 pets together weigh 421lbs, now and that is just disgusting.
Disgustingly adorable!!!

Big Hair and Big Teeth - A Jersey Girl's Dream Come True!

By far the best use of a camera I've EVER (!!!!!!!!!) seen via cuteoverload and fstop. Read about photog Julian Wolkenstein if you like but I prefer to let these beauties speak for their beautiful selves.

Gnome Thrower Sentenced Today

A Pennsylvania man got 2-4 years in jail, 5 years probation and drug counseling for getting ripped and pissed and throwing a garden gnome through a glass door at his 16yr old step daughter. Either gnome pieces or door pieces ended up hitting her face and giving her a pretty nasty facial laceration.

The gnome thrower retorted, "Obviously, you don't care," before being restrained by two sheriff's deputies and being dragged out of the court room.

This was all clearly an excuse to google image search garden gnomes.

Guess What????

The pregnant man, Thomas Beatie, is pregnant again!!! He just gave birth to his little girl, Susan, at the end of June (40 hour labor!!!) but he and his wife Nancy are back at it. Well, he and the donated sperm are back at it, but I digress.
Congrats Beatie family!!
Check out the slide show of the family with some kind of surreal (above) photos snuck in.

How Your Fancy Pants Get That Way

Do you wear pre-distressed jeans?
I don't, I never pay money to look broke. Looking broke should be cheap. I usually trend the other way with cheap goods that look fancy. For a month at least, until they fall apart.
I have a sunglasses graveyard that would bring a tear to the driest most deserty eye.

Anyway, distressed jeans - how they do that? Check out the photo blog of the dude behind ironicsans and his photo essay of this amazing denim factory in Kentucky.
For some reason some of the photos look vaguely sexual so use your judgment as to the safe for workiness. This one's the most borderline so I guess it's too late anyway. Haha!

More Plastic Surgery, Gone Horribly Awry

A little advise to you friends - Just because you run out of your own injectable silicon does NOT mean you should just start injecting whatever you have around the kitchen into your face.
Especially, apparently, cooking oil.
Sorry does that seem obvious?
Wait. You mean you don't even have your own supply of injectable silicon and your own set of hypodermic needles? Weird.

You Better Work!

Obama-mania hits useless but highly readable rags!


























I would, personally, be highly mortified to be on the cover of anything with my Dad as a preteen. Sorry Dad. Especially if all big over my belly it said, "I think I'm a pretty cool Dad."
However...I find this adorable.

























This one's significantly less embarrassing, everyone looks well dressed and professional.

Aside: I wonder if Malia and Sasha will go to Sidwell Friends - that's the DC Quaker school that Chelsea Clinton and special correspondent Cormac went to. (Yes at the same time!!!)

Second Aside: Special Correspondent Cormac and I also went to college with Monica Lewinsky's brother. Monica was at Special Correspondent Cormac's graduation! That was in 1999 when such things were a BIG DEAL!

Do You Like Feeling OLD!!!!

Uh, remember when you were in middle school and you 1st saw the cover of Nirvana's 'Nevermind' in the Sam Goody at your local mall? You know the one - with the underwater naked baby chasing a dollar bill???
Yeah, he's 17 now. That's him, before and after.















He's gone on to experience quite a bit of Hollywood grossness and weirdness thanks to his 'fame'. Including meeting Weird Al and being invited to swim in a, '...very wealthy woman's pool'.
Who hasn't?! Am I right?!

Just for Fun...

Mental Floss has a series of lunchtime quizzes they run everyday, usually about subjects I know nothing about, like NHL trivia. Today, however, I challenge you to the Milhouse VanHouton quiz! It was linked at the bottom of an article about the men behind liquors with man names...like my BFF Jim Beam. Sadly not as interesting as I wanted it to be, including Jim. Sigh.

I got a 9 out of 12 on the Milhouse quiz and I'm very disappointed with myself, but you can do better, I know you can!

Silverton Oregon is More Progressive Than SF

Why?
Because Stu Rasmussen has just been elected Silverton's newest Mayor. Yay Stu!

This is Stu right here, and even though Stu's got quite an impressive rack (jealous!) you may have guessed that she's also the country's 1st openly transgendered mayor.


(Stu was actually Mayor in the 90's but was not out at that point.)

In addition to having 20 years experience serving the good people of Silverton as an elected official of one kind or another, Stu seems unbelievably down to earth. This is especially impressive for someone who didn't come out of the closet, and in fact had never even heard the word 'transgendered' until 10 years ago.

There's a tab on her home page called 'Reality Check' which starts, "If you just stumbled on this site you may be asking yourself "Is this guy for real?" or "Is that really a guy?". She's so open about it, that the AP reports, "Because Rasmussen's appearance was no secret, the campaign was dominated by policy issues. 'I've blackmail-proofed myself,' Rasmussen said"

Right on Stu! If only all elections could be about the issues and blackmail proof, and if only I could find a flying pony. Why are the simplest things always such a struggle.

Just, EWW!

So Kendra, Hef's ex is engaged to her new bf, Hank Baskett. That's him to the left. Hank plays for the Philadelphia Eagles which is awesome because the boyfriend and I are big time Eagles fans and because he's approximately 1 million times hotter than Hugh Hefner. Though, that's like saying a glacier is 1 million times colder than a warm cup of tea. Kind of obvi.

So, great right?? Except for some reason she's not only having her wedding at the Playboy mansion, Hef's desiccated skeleton will be walking her down the isle. Gross. (warning: since the article is from an English paper this link is NSFW)

Even if their relationship was all a publicity sham it's still gross to have your ex take the place of your dad on what's supposed to be one of the most awesome days of your life.

More Bama

I know that psychedandsuch has been very new black president heavy recently but to me it's basically the most exciting thing since Tivo. More exciting even.

So steele yourself for lots more Bama in the coming next zillion years. I will try to supplement as best as I can.

Down to business! The AP reports today that Barack is looking to immediately reverse Bush's executive orders on everything from stem cell research, and environmental policy to reinstating aid to overseas organizations that provide abortions (among other services). He's even talking about releasing or giving trials to all the prisoners at Guantanamo!

These are the kind of policies that can really bring a tear to a girl's eye.

You're Irritating Me

No not you. I like you!

But 'researchers' at Oxford University have isolated the 10 most irritating phrases in the English language. My 1st feeling is, maybe you could get to work on that cancer thing, 'researchers', and my second thought was who says what's irritating. You know?

Most of the irritating phrases seem 'irritating' mainly to grammar wonks, like the #3 choice, 'I personally' which is redundant. #10 is the iconic, 'It's not rocket science' which I personally love.

The boyfriend HATES when anyone uses the word 'literally' as hyperbole, as in, 'There were literally a million cats in that house.' A crime I'm constantly committing.

I hate how reality TV contestants seem to all be working from a semi-literate phrase book. Hearing, 'That being said' or any iteration of someone being 'thrown under the bus' grates like knee caps on cement.

I didn't find any of the list very annoying let me know what you think

1 - At the end of the day

2 - Fairly unique

3 - I personally

4 - At this moment in time

5 - With all due respect

6 - Absolutely

7 - It's a nightmare

8 - Shouldn't of

9 - 24/7

10 - It's not rocket science

I Now Pronounce You...Republican

I hate when THE MEDIA try to make up cat fights between blonds and brunettes, working mothers and stay at home mothers, young women and older women and especially between single women and married women.

HOWEVER (sorry I'm lovin' the caps today) US News and World Report today says that while 70% of single women (including shaked up, widowed and divorced) voted for Obama only 50% of married women did. I'm not trying to make a value judgment about voting McCain (though his policies are pretty anti woman) I just wonder what the reason for the discrepancy is. Do you just automatically become more conservative once you get married? I have no idea.

I do like that US News calls unmarried women, 'an important but often overlooked demographic'. I mean, 'Overall, 53 percent of the national electorate this year was female, according to exit poll data. Women overall voted 56 to 43 percent for Obama; men voted 49 to 48 percent for him.'

Just saying, if only men had been voting it could have gone either way. YOU'RE WELCOME AMERICA.

update: whoops! I was giving myself too much credit as an unmarried woman for swaying the vote because 52% of white women voted McCain, along with 57% of white men. Boo whiteys! And by extension, I suppose, boo me. I hate booing me.

Alright, Enough Serious-nicity

YES WE CAN eliminate the heartbreak of visible panty lines (VPL)
A proud day for America's lady laps.

Celebrate Like Kool and the Gang!

Huffpo's slide show of reactions to Obama's win from around the world.
I especially like this one from Obama, Japan. They're psyched!

Love, Obama Style

Huffpo's greatest Obama on Obama PDA moments.
I believe I've seen cuter but not all in one place.

Front Page-a-paloza

Front pages of national and international papers from the Daily Kos. I especially like this German paper. That's a funny picture of what's his name.

Oprah at Grant Park!!!

"This is democracy at its finest."

For the 1st Time, Tupac Was Wrong

From the LA Times:

More than half a century ago, Langston Hughes captured the debilitating divide in the destinies of white and black children in his poem "Children's Rhymes": "By what sends / the white kids / I ain't sent: / I know I can't / be PresidentBy what sends / the white kids / I ain't sent: / I know I can't / be President." Forty-six years after Hughes, rapper Tupac echoed that declaration: "And though it seems heaven sent / We ain't ready to have a black president." Today, little more than a decade after Tupac's lament, we are ready for a black president, and the grief of dreams deferred is lifted.

Contrary to many critics, his election does not, nor should it, herald a post-racial future. But it may help usher in a post-racist future. A post-racial outlook seeks to delete crucial strands of our identity; a post-racist outlook seeks to delete oppression that rests on hate and fear, that exploits cultural and political vulnerability. Obama need not cease being a black man to effectively govern, but America must overcome its brutal racist past to permit his gifts, and those of other blacks, to shine.

I'd LIKE to be More Gracious, but....

I can't help it!!! I'm too excited, and still a little angry.
from Rolling Stone

The Shit becomes Shitty Enough to Put Aside Race

from the Onion -
Carrying a majority of the popular vote, Obama did especially well among women and young voters, who polls showed were particularly sensitive to the current climate of everything being fucked. Another contributing factor to Obama's victory, political experts said, may have been the growing number of Americans who, faced with the complete collapse of their country, were at last able to abandon their preconceptions and cast their vote for a progressive African-American. Citizens with eyes, ears, and the ability to wake up and realize what truly matters in the end are also believed to have played a crucial role in Tuesday's election.

From the Files of WHAT?!?!?!

Up is down, left is right, Obama winning the election has truly turned the world upside down!

Rumors are all aswirl that Condi is in talks for a high level position in the 49ers club house.

Don't you dare make me like you Condi!!
Let the record show, though, that she has no team loyalty. She grew up a Browns fan, then became a Bronco's fan, even dating a wide receiver, and is now a rabid Redskins fan. Ugh! The Redskins suck! Boo!

Sniff

from indiemuse, via special correspondent Cormac.
Obvi more Obama to come.

More on Face (Trans)Plants

New from that crazy (and I use that term clinically) French, face transplant lady.













Not surprisingly she's still kind of freaked out by having half of her face and half of someone else's face. Duh.

"Before the operation, I expected my new face would look like me but it turned out after the operation that it was half me and half her."She said she had not yet worked out her new identity, adding: "It takes an awful lot of time to get used to someone else's face. It's a peculiar type of transplant.

Scary Lesbians

The lesbian sub plot is officially over on Grey's Anatomy.
Why? ABC is NOT having 2 lady doctors talk about oral sex in prime time.

BOO ABC! I mean jeez, it's 2008 right?

In retaliation you should def vote no on 8 today. If you live in California. And you have spooky 'San Francisco values'.
Which I do.

Message to Liberals

Okay, sorry. We're just a nervous people Barack.
You know this!

Long And Boring, No Pictures, How I'm Voting

I would never tell anyone how to vote, BUT I will provide you with how I'm voting in case you aren't up to date on all the issues and are easily swayed. I highlited the ones that are especially important, which you should definately agree with me on.

President: Obvi Barak Obama

State of California:
Prop 1A High Speed Rail: Yes
It's controversial because of the bad financial timing but I truly believe CA needs a high speed rail system. It will def save us all environmentally, in transportation construciton costs and just straight up monitarily when we travel.

Prop 2: Standards for Confining Farm Animals: Yes
Please vote yes for this, whether you eat meat or not I think we can all agree that we need to hold ourselves to a certain standard of humanity. I know a lot of people are saying it's going to put CA farmers out of business but that's what they said about seat belts too.
If you vote NO please don't tell me, I'll be upset.

Prop 3 Children's Hospital: Yes
Yes it's a ton of money but it's state money coming to Oakland Children's Hospital and as I will elaborate on later, Oakland is broke. If you live in Oakland you should vote for this measure. Plus, the children.

Prop 4 Parental Waiting Period for Minors Having Abortions: No
Sorry I just think we don't need more restrictions on our reproductive rights, even if you are a minor.

Prop 5 Non Violent Drug Offenses: Yes
Creates more programs for non violent drug offenders as an alternative to prison. Not only is it humane but it's one of the few propositions that will actually save CA money. Lots of money.

Prop 6 Police Funding: No
Set's a minimum amount to spend on cops per year. I think it's crazy to lock down so much money when the state's in a budget crisis.

Prop 7 Renewable Energy: No
If every environmental group in the country is against it, you should be too

Prop 8 Gay Marriage: NO
You must vote no on this, or we are not friends. We should not be in the business of taking away civil rights. This is based on fear and, I'm just going to say it, EVIL!

Prop 9 Victim's Rights in Parole: Abstain
I don't know enough about this one and it's really hard to balance the civil rights of the criminal with the basic rights of the victim. Sorry, I just don't know.

Prop 10 Alternative Fuels: No
It throws money all over the place, including helping people buy hybrids. Dumb use of funds

Prop 11 Redistricting: Yes
Right now our districts are drawn by the people who represent them creating a system where incumbents are elected 99% of the time. This prop will create a bi partisan commission chosen by lottery and overseen by lawyers. It's just fair.

Prop 12 Vetran's Bond Act: Abstain
I can't vote against vetrans, but I can't vote for such a huge expenditure of money. Sorry vetrans.


City of Oakland:
I have no knowleged of any of the supervisors or judges or school board members, sorry I usually just don't vote for them.

Measure N - No
This is the one that supposedly gives more money to teachers, but I find it to be vaguely worded and honestly, I'm sorry but Oakland has no money for anything, including teachers. Sorry.

Measure NN - abstain
This one's a parcel tax to hire more police officers and update our crime labs. Obvi we need that but I'm just against allocating funds from the ballot box.

Measure OO - No
This one would fund after school programs which I'm also very pro but again, Oakland has no $$$ and I don't believe now is the time for voters to be hamstringing the budget.

Measure VV - Yes
This is a parcel tax fund MUNI. Though there will be output of money in the beginning I believe this will save us money in the future, environmentally, in road construction and in taxes since MUNI is a vital link for many people and their work.

Measure WW - Yes
This one creates a bond (that's repayable) to extend the East Bay Regional Park District. It seems frivolous to fund this expansion except beyond the benefits, EBRPD has proven to leverage bond money with a super low cost to tax payers. However it's still more funding that I believe legislators should be in charge of apropriating.

Boo!

Some planet must have been in some other planet's something for this Halloween, because my mind spent the whole weekend being blown by my friends costumes.
I feel I must share.

For once I put in more effort than just buying $10 worth of fake blood. Because of the mustache I had to drink everything out of a straw. Including my flask. It's the one Erin gave me, engraved - 'Mama's Juice'
All class.









Erin and Maggie were Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. Here they are fighting off the paparazzi while I drink a Tecate out of a straw.








Sam and Badger independently dressed up as Santa and an Elf. The terrorist fist jab is in celebration of meeting their toy making quota for October.











Maggie and Tom are just straight up smokin' as a stewardess and a TSA officer.












Jake and Cormac were by far, the least understood costumes.
Jake was Bill Walsh, who is largely unknown by hipsters. Even Bay Area hipsters. Cormac was a secret service agent but everyone thought he was Will Smith in Men in Black. Or Obama. That's what you get for being one of only 5 black people at any party. Sorry.




More to come...hopefully