From the Dept of DUH!

Elizabeth Edwards is writing, not a 'tell all' but a 'tell some'. Via Huffpo - 'In her new memoir, "Resilience," Elizabeth Edwards says her husband should not have run for president.'

DUH!

Sherri Shepherd...Not as Bad as You May Have Thought

I know we don't like Sherri on the View. She doesn't know if the Earth is flat or round and she was going to vote for McCain based solely on the fact that Sarah Palin has a child with Down Syndrome but...well sometimes she's still funny. She's Tracy Jordan's wife on 30 Rock and she has a guest spot on WWE Smackdown this week!

I suggest you watch the video...she really knows how to turn wrestling in to wrasslin'. Though, on second thought, if you're icked out by the thought of Sherri's bedroom behavior I'd say skip it.

Finallly Some Answers!

You should check out all of The Stranger's 2009 Sex Survey Results but here's my favorite:
I especially wouldn't want to have sex with Tim Geithner. Though, of course, I have the utmost respect.

Another Great Moment With Martellus Bennett

Martellus is the Cowboy's tight end who gave us our last great WTF moment with the hypothetical Angelina Jolie feeding you pancakes and farting scenario. I'm starting to really love Martellus's blog. He's so upbeat and he LOLs a lot more than I would expect from a 350lb man. For that, I respect him.

Plus, he asks the questions most of us are afraid to. In his most recent post he addresses a question that I thought stopped plaguing us in the 60's. Apparently his white friends just won't stop asking why black people love fried chicken. LOL!!

In the interest of getting to the bottom of this stereotype, he polls his black friends to find the answer.

Of course, it's Martellus himself who has the best answer -

11) my answer: everybody loves chicken despite race sex gender chicken is scrumptious and everyone enjoys it. If you haven't had chicken go get some.

With all that being said I am about to go get me a spicy ten piece with fo (four) biscuits and a large red beans from popeyes. I don't need a drink because I have purple koolaid at home.

Never stop chasing your dreams.

Peace, Love and Happiness

Marty B

Worth It!

It's a Golden Girl's kind of week, as one Ms. Sophia Petrillo's (ne Estelle Getty) belongings go up for auction. Yes, yes, kind of macabre. But! How much do you want Sophia's iconic rattan bag??? Or her over sized glasses? On their original lanyard!!

The glasses are a steal, estimated to go for around $500. The bag is estimated to go for under $1500.
What??? Do you know how many new, non history making bags cost more than that? Shocking, but a steal for anyone who's smart enough, which I am, and has the cash flow, which I don't.

Whoa!

Did you know this???
Up until 1971 it was illegal for women to tend bar in California. TRUE!

Read the Wall Street Journal's history of women bartenders.
Added fun fact, a colonial woman named Betty Fanagan invented the cocktail. The WSJ would not lie to you.

I Just, um, Really Like Usher Okay?

R.I.P Bea Arthur

Whether Dorothy was your favorite Golden Girl or not I think we can all admit to the soft, Bea Arthur sized spot in our hearts.
Saturday my girlfriends and I went to a drag show and it was really touching to see what kind of influence Bea had on those girls, especially the older generation.

"I knew it would hurt, I just didn't know it would hurt this much. I'm so happy that she received her Lifetime Achievement Award while she was still with us, so she could appreciate that," Betty White told "The Insider" in a statement. "She was such a big part of my life."

Rue McClanahan, the only other remaining "Golden Girl," said: "[Thirty-seven] years ago she showed me how to be very brave in playing comedy. I'll miss that courage. And I'll miss that voice."

What Are You Thirsty For?

Slow your roll
Listen don't believe the hype...this does NOT have cough syrup in it. You have to get that yourself at the Walgreens.














Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity. This is a premium energy drink named with confidence.
Men of the world, your secret is so out that you like to get your face all up in it that MTV is marketing it as energizing.










Drink a can, improve your daily hustle. Drink two cans, get yo hustle on.
A hunid racks = $100,000 so it must be good right? Answer: no, I've had it it's gross.

Hunid Racks is out of the Bay area so they also rep local favorites Mac Dre and 2Pac. Nice.

Go Iceland!

When times are tough, like say your economy collapses, you have to think outside the box.
Or inside...Because Iceland has just elected the 1st openly gay prime minister, Ms. Johanna Sigurdardottir. Her top priorities are going to be rescuing the economy and starting negotiations to join the EU. Duh. Also, she's quite the silver fox, no? Must be all that Hakarl.

Burgers and Douche Bags

Oh man, if you aren't already watching Sarah Haskin's 'Target Women' on Current TV, well, then you're a damn fool. I know it has 'women' in the title which can turn some of you dudes off when you realize there's no chance for, AT LEAST, some soft core.

Well, guess what? I found one for everyone. It has humor, douche bag hate, social comedy, burgers AND it has women washing cars in bikinis. You're welcome. Plus, you won't be a whole person till you realize that douche bags aren't assholes, they're just 'good nature douche bros sweepin' fries like they're at a douche bag party about to win the award for douche king of the douche-a-tron'
Seriously

Oklahoma Battles The Pink Robots

In a stunningly awesome move, Oklahoma's Governor Brad Henry signed an executive order making The Flaming Lips song, 'Do You Realize' the official rock song of the State!! Awesome!!

The lame-ass State Legislature originally tried to keep that from going down, even though the very people of OK had internet voted for it.
Gov Brad was like, 'Hell no bitches!'

Or rather, “The music of the Flaming Lips has earned Grammys, glowing critical acclaim and fans all over the world. A truly iconic rock ‘n’ roll band, they are proud ambassadors of their home state...They were clearly the people’s choice, and I intend to honor that vote.”

Jealous!!

PS. I love you Wayne!

Can I Recomend???

Maybe I'm late on the scene (not unlikely) but have you heard of The Moth?? It's a NYC, storytelling, hipster, podcasting, live performance, um, organization. Theater group?
Whatever.
You should subscribe to their podcast.

I actually almost didn't, because their most recent podcast was a story from Greg 'He's Just Not That Into You' Behrendt. (people who bought this book on Amazon also bought, 'The Rules' and 'Stop Getting Dumped!) Ugh!

But...it had a million stars on iTunes so I listened to it this morning on the commute.

Greg, I hereby forgive you for foisting 'He's Just Not That Into You' upon the world.

Greg told a rather embarrassing story about Janeane Garofalo not being that into him. Full of mix tapes and neediness and late night, drunken, pleading phone calls and general Janeane worship, which I share. I will tell you no more, just please download the podcast.
Thank you.

Thursday's Disturbing Moment

Phil Spector, Wall of Sound innovator, murderer, big hair proponent, prisoner #1165998.

You hardly need to read his palms to know this guys a serious freak, but his middle aged adopted son is shopping a tell all, that may, uh, tell too much.

"When I was 13, Dad was seeing someone, a woman the kids all liked . . . and hoped for the chance of one day calling her 'Mom.' That all changed, however, one evening . . . [It] involved a bottle of wine, a Playboy magazine and 'the lady.' That night I lost my innocence, and my brother, Donte, at the age of 10, lost his virginity -- to that lady. That was the last time I ever saw the 'lady.' "

I think I'll just go curl up in the fetal position and sit in the dark now.

Grey Gardens

I'm sure you've seen the orig documentary (which you can view here), the Broadway musical, or the HBO original movie and you now have full on Little Eddie fatigue but, WAIT! One more thing!

Pictures from Grey Gardens after Big Eddie passed and Little Eddie needed to, finally, move on. Not surprisingly it was bought by rich fans who restored the place. Not only was it falling apart but it was rattling around with 52 dead cats who all, for some reason, needed their own funeral. That's a lot for any Camelot/Architecture fan, no matter how rich.

Check out the NYTimes slide show! It's full of statements like, When Ms. Quinn touched a key on this piano in the living room, the whole thing collapsed and fell through the floor.

Tim Gunn, Depantsed

In OK! Magazine. I just don't like that they photoshopped his face. But there are some good nuggets. He supports Michelle Obama's right to tank tops and his sister has psoriasis. People with psoriasis feel like they can’t be who they want to be fashion-wise. Our message is that, through proper treatment, you can do whatever you want in terms of lifestyle.
Tank tops for all!!

It's a Dog, GET OVER IT!

I know it's bad.
The economy's in the shitter for reasons even Planet Money can barely make intelligible, there's Iraq, and torture and high waisted pants are back in fashion but are we so hard up for a good vibe that we need to collectively slaver all over this only moderately cute dog??

Plus, I'm sorry Sasha and Malia or Ted Kennedy or whoever came up with it, but Bo is not a good name for a dog. Especially if the dog's last name is Obama.
You have to think these things through!

My New BFF

Maybe you know Michelle Rodriguez from being faster and furiouser, or from getting shot on Lost by the guy in the wheel chair on Oz but let it be known that she's one fun bitch to party with.

Check this Page Six description of her at her BFF, Giancarlo Chersich's wedding:

At the welcome dinner...Rodriguez pushed fully clothed guests into the pool. The next night, she broke up the bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was "fat and had a small [bleep]."

Rodriguez was ticked off when the dancer asked for a volunteer at the beginning of his routine and then made the willing babe kneel down. "That's bull[bleep]," the sexy star yelled. "He should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party."

As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-be's face, Rodriguez yelled, "This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me." She left in a huff.

Classic Stoner, A Day Late For The Party

Yesterday was 4/20 so like I said I'm a day late but you probably didn't notice, did you you drug fiend? Probably too busy smoking what my Dad calls, 'unbranded cigarettes' and gatewaying yourself into a crack cocaine habbit.

Or maybe not. Either way (as long as you haven't yet sold your computer to buy crack) check out this article from Huffpo by a member of Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. He makes your basic health and safety arguments but since you're always zoning out and forgetting things I thought I'd remind you. Plus it's always nice to hear a cop say:

Over the past four years I've asked police officers throughout the U.S. (and in Canada) two questions. When's the last time you had to fight someone under the influence of marijuana? (I'm talking marijuana only, not pot plus a six-pack or a fifth of tequila.) My colleagues pause, they reflect. Their eyes widen as they realize that in their five or fifteen or thirty years on the job they have never had to fight a marijuana user. I then ask: When's the last time you had to fight a drunk? They look at their watches.

Libya...So Hot Right Now

How awesome is Libya's National Security Adviser Mutussaim Qadhafi? Doesn't he look like he stepped out of a David Lynch movie?

She's Rich, Bitch!

Yes, Tina Fey is one rich bitch. You'd prob figure that out on your own if you thought about it for half a second but aren't we all a little conditioned to assume that actors = the people they play on TV?
Liz Lemon only has $12k in the bank and eats off brand Hot Cheetos but Tina Fey just bought a huge Trump-esque pad with a maid's room and a butler's pantry on the Upper West Side.

Why is it always the talented driven people who succeed in this life? What about those of us who just wanna party with our friends and surf the internet? When's our time?

Pictures of the fabulosity via Gawker:

Something Kind of Disturbing

From special correspondent Cormac.
It's actually kind of weird that he would send this today because Friday I made a drawn out joke about having a mild case of 'unicornism' which kept me from work when my bangs wouldn't cooperate. Seeing this hungover is my punishment for not being sensitive to the feelings of those with for real unicornism.
Which, who would even know that's a real thing?

Because you weren't necessarily rude to anyone with a horn, I'm leaving it as a link.
Click at your own risk.

Adderall??

I've been pretty bi-curious about it since I read an interview Vice Magazine did with a Canadian farmer they'd given Adderall to. He not only did the work of 10 farmers but also some, 'stuff with my wife I hadn’t done in a long time.'

You know what I mean.

The thing about Vice is that they're stridently pro drugs all around. Their dating advice usually involves not only alcohol but blow and Viagra so I don't always trust them. Plus they're really judgy about women who don't wear heels.

For a more nuanced take (with less talk about certain sex acts that are gross to me) check out The New Yorker talkin' neuroenhansers.

Verdict: Still kind of want to take some Adderall. Who doesn't want to do the work of 10 women? Answer: Osama, he's a mysogonyst.

Lastly, I typed Adderall into Google to find a good picture and about eleventy billion online, no questions asked pharmacies popped up. Just fyi.

Behind the Scabbies!

Whatever, I know it's not good for, well probably anyone, but Rock of Love tour bus is the awesomest thing ever. Diablo Cody feels me on this subject.

Sigh, it's over now and the reunion show was boring because of it's glaringly small apportionment of my party girls Ashley and Farrah (in the pink and black respectively) Actually I strongly advise you watch the episode that this screen shot is from. I think you'll understand where I'm coming from when you see Ashley repeatedly demand a cheeseburger, barf, correctly claim, 'Barf happens' incorrectly claim, 'Pooping yourself happens' and awesomely declare, 'I barf on your mom, she loves it.'
Watch act 3 starting at the 5:15 mark and then the 1st minute of Act 4. Thank me later.

Anyway, the reunion. Boring!!! But the behind the scenes blog is pretty amusing since it brings up old glories like when Gia put a shot of alcohol in her vagina, when Brittanya spat on Season 1's Heather and how Marcia always smelled like Doritos and Patron and tried to pull Bret's wig off.

Ah, memories.

Thankfully almost all of them will be showing up on Charm School 3 with Ricki Lake. Yay!!

I also humbly suggest you read, 'Hanging with the Blondourage' which is just a weird stream of consciousness with Ashley and Farrah.
Ashley: I was doing an event in Florida and I ordered porn in my room, and the guy who was hosting the event paid for it. He didn’t say anything about it because it was a weird porn. It was like lesbians on tricycles.

John Waters, Can You Clear Something Up For Us

from BoingBoing:

JOHN WATERS: "Teabagging" is by my definition the act of dragging your testicles across your partner's forehead. In the UK it is dipping your testicles in your partner's mouth. I didn't invent the term or the act but DID introduce it to film in my movie "Pecker." "Teabagging" was a popular dance step that male go-go boys did to their customers for tips at The Atlantis, a now defunct bar in Baltimore. Hope this helps. -- John Waters

picture via jezebel

Tweets From the Mouth of GOD

By which I mean, Oprah has a Twitter account.
And her caps lock it stuck on.

Here's who she's following:
Demi and Ashton
Shaq
George Stephanopoulis
Jimmy Fallon
And of course: Gayle King

Just FYI

Let's Just Let This Happen

538, predictor of everything, has a strong argument for just letting Texas secede from the union. This is something that Republican Gov Rick Perry has been mumbling about, not the sodomites here in San Francisco, so step away from the high horse.

The reasons include all kinds of goodies like Dems having a filibuster proof majority in the Senate and more electoral votes being transferring to California and Gore winning in 2000. (Time machines are part of what will change in this scenario). But the best and least explicable reason is, 'If Texas were not in the Union, there'd be a good case for making football an Olympic sport, which would sure as hell beat rhythmic gymnastics.'

Who in Texas is keeping football from being an Olympic sport?? I'll have to look into that conspiracy, it's a new one for me.

Monkies, It Happens

Just for Fun pt 2

Japanesebirdcookingspaghetti.com

Talking Points

In case you get into a convo with one of those who insist America's a Christian Country founded on Christian morals and so condoms and gay pride parades should be outlawed...read this article so you can deliver a stunning verbal smack down.

People tend to shut down when you come at them with, "In any event, in order to be a good American citizen one need not subscribe to Lockean liberalism."

Just For Fun

Thanks to special correspondent Kendra!

Is this bunny supposed to be a middle aged, lady librarian bunny? She's kind of disproving for a portent of spring. And mauve? Not really anyone's color.
None the less, adorable.

P&S To Obama, 'Legalize It Bro!'

From Huffpo -
You know how everyone's suddenly freaking the eff out because Mexican drug cartel violence is spilling all over into California, Texas and Arizona. Big time. Yeah, it's a big deal, but did you know that the cartels get most of their cash from the chronic, the sticky icky, Mary Jane and well, pot.

Solution: Stop smoking weed? Don't be ridiculous, this nation is too uptight already.
Legalize it!

Think I'm out in left field? Lots of top level Mexican officials want to see that go down, including the Mexican ambassador to the US. Is it really worth it to fund death squads, pack our prisons like crayola boxes full of non violent offenders and stress out, mostly, law abiding citizens who worry their landlord will come over when the bong is out, just so young Johnny doesn't get blunted every now and again???

Answer: Don't be silly, of course not.

Plus according to one commenter:
Was God wrong? King James Bible And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Think about it!!

The Kind of Dog I'd Prefer

The 1st Dog

I know you already know, but I felt remiss in not posting a picture.

Did Sasha and Malia really want a Portuguese Water Dog or did their dad make them accept it because of Ted Kennedy's brain tumor?

My verdict: Pretty cute, but you know, it's a puppy. Judgment reserved till the midterm elections when the fucker's all grown.

Happy Pesach Bitches!

Last week all us Jews and half Jews celebrated Passover with a little wine, a few bitter herbs, some bread of affliction, and if you were lucky (like I was) an acoustic cover of Metallica's 'Creeping Death'.

Sadly I don't have a recording, but why don't you relive the glory of the 10 plagues in the original!

Easter Bonnets!

Regardless of religion, I think we can all get behind a big beautiful Easter hat. Well you don't want to be RIGHT behind it because then you won't be able to see, but, you know, metaphorically.
A great smile doesn't hurt either, huh?

Check out the slide show from the LA Times here.

OMG!! Famous!

You know how a few days ago I wrote about that article with the woman who was afraid of fried eggs? OMG! The author of that article posted a comment.
Check it!

This was not the case when I wrote the article. The Daily Express has edited the article and changed bits. I am a Journalism student, and obviously this article is more than news worthy ish- the woman who Is scared of fried eggs has had 20 different publications call her since its first publication in the Express, and she will also be appearing on a number of tv shows- this goes to show how little you actually know. ENDS.

Samd, I apologize for impugning your writing chops, I totally believe that the Daily Express is a chop shop. On top of that I'm completely excited to find out I've been googled and can be googled.

HOWEVER I remain unconvinced of the newsworthiness of egg fear alone. I did, of course, read the story but I guess in my heart of hearts I was just hoping for a near death egg experience in her past or maybe for an egg phobia support group in her future.

Let me know if either of those things got cut out of the orig Samd.

PS. How gross are Cadbury Creme Eggs? Ech!

Weirdly Mezmerizing

A real time map of what people are buying on Zappos.
Hint - Ugly shoes, yet I can't stop watching.

Snoop's Triumph Over Twitter

Snoop celebrates after learning how to upload live video over Twitter.



I mean how do you spend your late Thursday afternoons?
By the way, it only took me a year to type 'embed video' into the blogger help section. How should I celebrate??

Random WTF Moment

It's kind of Zen. Not the Zen you're thinking of, another kind.
From Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett's blog in the Dallas Morning News:

'...if you were on a date with Angelina Jolie a lunch date eating
spaghetti and pancakes or whatever it is people eat in Hollywood and
as she's feeding you she farts. Do you let her slide because of her
beauty or call her out?

Never stop chasing your dreams.

Peace, Love and Happiness

Marty B'

Did you enjoy it? I enjoyed it.

We're All Trying to be Less Douchy

Last night, Kanye was murdered.
Not really but an obnoxious cartoon version of him was on South Park.

Wouldn't you think he'd totally freak out, throwing his diamond shoes through a window and almost breaking his mac book with his furious blog typing?
Well he didn't, and people it's a whole new Kanye. One who's trying to move away from his image as a 'HUGE DOUCHE'

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!

Bravo, young dbag, I think we can all take home the message of being a doper person by not always telling people that you are, in fact, dope.
But did you know your caps lock was on? Just saying.

I Like Square Butts

I know I'm supposed to be offended by the new Sponge Bob Square Pants/Sir Mix a Lot collaboration for Burger King but it's just TOO AMAZING!


















Yes, yes, it sexualizes a beloved (and frankly homosexual, right?) children's character and at one point I believe men are looking at womens 'square butts' through a telescope like they're 18th fucking century Hottentot Venuses BUT check these lyrics -

Sir Mix-A-Lot as the Burger King, rapping: I like square butts and I cannot lie / Squid and Sea Star can't deny / When a sponge walks in / Four corners in his pants / Like he got phone book implants / The crowd shouts / All the ladies stare / Dang, those pants are square! / Swimming through the seaweed tangles / Is a butt with sharp right angles / Now, SpongeBob! / I wanna get witcha / 'Cuz you're making me richa / Burger King wants me to seal the deal / Ninety-nine cent, get a toy and a kid's meal!

Phone book implants!!! I guess I also don't care because as far as fast food goes its Taco Bell or nothing for me.

Watch the video here and, go ahead laugh and be weirded out at the same time. Or just laugh, since you're probably not as easily offended by the patriarchy as I am.

Evidence: The boyfriend and I were watching 'Coming to America' the other day. A movie we both love, BUT I just couldn't help but make a comment about the horrible state of pan-African kleptocracy and how all those hot tubs and bath girls and rose petals were paid for off the backs of the starving prolatariat.
Sigh, I just can't help it.

Just in Case You Were Interested

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

One of Us!!

I don't watch Rachel Maddow, there's usually a rerun of 'Rock of Love: Tour Bus' that needs my attention, but I admire her from a far because she's always, says the internet, giving right wingers the what for. Which I support.

Her one fault? She's on TV, but she doesn't have a TV.
A little bit too, ironic.

Well something wonderful happened and she bought one! How's that? Hee. She got drunk with her partner and when she woke up in the morning she had a confirmation email from like Best Buy saying, 'your damn TVs on the way lady.'

This sort of thing happens to us all and I've never regretted anything I've bought while I was high or drunk. Sure, maybe it's an embarrassing color, or not really the right size or you accidentally bought 2, but, you know, it's usually okay.

Wait, actually there's a number of food items I've bought while drunk that I deeply, deeply regret.

El Faralito on 24th and Mission, 3am, nachos. Don't do it people.

News Worthy! Ish.

Another editorial gem from the Daily Express -

THE WOMAN WHO COLLAPSES WHENEVER SHE SEES A FRIED EGG

She's, uh, afraid of fried eggs. Which you should know about.

Check out these writing chops:
Susan, 39, says she is afraid of going into restaurants and cafe's in case she spots her greasy nemesis lurking on a plate.
"I can't go to restaurants because I am afraid of seeing a fried egg," she said.

Yeah, I got that.

Maps of Sitcom Houses

If you watch a lot of TV you probably already know this: all sitcom houses are essentially the same. It's either kitchen on the right, living room on the left, or the other way around. As a child I was highly suspicious that the sets were all recycled, which, I'm sure they are. Also, as a child I watched a lot of sitcoms. Thank god reality TV came along.

None the less, I'm completely charmed by Dan Meth's sitcom houses chart. It's so perfectly symmetrical!!!










































Psst! It's part 2 in a series of pop culture charts, check out the 1st which is a map of of the US where sitcoms took place.

More Parasitic Twins!

Okay...this is a baby who came out with a second penis on his back. Yes, that's a penis.

So many wang jokes are running around my head right now that I can't even separate them enough to distinguish one, and pull it out.

As usual with crazy births like this one and the baby with the foot growing out of his brain and the girl who was born pregnant, Chinese doctors think it's a case of fetus in fetu. Basically the baby batter gets stirred once to many times and the twins get all mushed together.

It's truly one of the internet's great gifts to me.

Dolly...What Else is There to Say

My Dad just got this album for my Mom at a flea market which inspired a big bag of mixed emotions, here they are in order

1. Dolly is so cool!!
2. Why didn't I get up early enough to go to this stupid flea market??
3. Wow that was cool of my Dad
4. Wait, is she showering in a sweater and wig??

She does what she wants!!!

Check out Ms. Parton on 60mins (of all places) talkin' about her boobs, aspiring to dress like the town tramp, her wicked business sense and all the other parts of being awesome.

Just as a last aside, I've been to Dollywood. My friend Erin and I made a big, special trip out to Pigeon Forge, TN to visit the homeland and I'm sorry to say that our lasting impression was that everyone in Tennessee was one pork rind away from needing to go on one of those Discovery chanel programs I like so much about weight loss surgery.

JUST SAYING!
Dolly, it may be time to serve something besides fried pig skin and fudge at your amusement park.

The Different Kinds of People That There Are

From the Stranger, Seattle's free weekly rag. Which you should start reading every Thursday when it comes out.

If only because it's edited by Savage Love author Dan Savage, who is my sensei. Oh and because it has a drunk of the week contest with pictures that usually make me laugh out loud.

Oh and also because they sponsor an annual amateur porn film festival called 'Hump'. Well there's lots of reasons really, and the list of 'The Different Kinds of People That There Are' is a good example.

It's really just a list of the different kinds of youngish, white, hipsters there are, since that's what Seattle is full of. From secret trustafarians to obnoxious correcting your word usage types to tech dorks, really the whole gamut. There's also some passing mention of Russian wizards and animals that are really people who got transformed by a witch. But it's tasteful.

I especially like the one about people who don't watch TV since this is a personal pet peeve of mine.
I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW MUCH TV I WATCH.
In fact watching TV is one of my very favorite things to do, so why don't you go ahead and suck it.

Anyway, they're all funny and I'm a little pissed that I wasn't the one to write it so maybe I should go ahead and suck it.