Maps of Sitcom Houses

If you watch a lot of TV you probably already know this: all sitcom houses are essentially the same. It's either kitchen on the right, living room on the left, or the other way around. As a child I was highly suspicious that the sets were all recycled, which, I'm sure they are. Also, as a child I watched a lot of sitcoms. Thank god reality TV came along.

None the less, I'm completely charmed by Dan Meth's sitcom houses chart. It's so perfectly symmetrical!!!










































Psst! It's part 2 in a series of pop culture charts, check out the 1st which is a map of of the US where sitcoms took place.

Scary Lesbians

The lesbian sub plot is officially over on Grey's Anatomy.
Why? ABC is NOT having 2 lady doctors talk about oral sex in prime time.

BOO ABC! I mean jeez, it's 2008 right?

In retaliation you should def vote no on 8 today. If you live in California. And you have spooky 'San Francisco values'.
Which I do.

Oh the Huge Manatees

I know I've said it a million times, but I love reality TV. It's no secret.
But some of the shows I watch and the way I watch are a bit on the, well, secret side. Living alone helps.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is like that, I'm a little reluctant to say I watch it. I mean it's so cheesy and fakey and you're always hearing stories about the shit going all kinds of wrong after the production crew leaves. Plus do not even get me started on that Ty Pennington character. Gawd.

While I won't go so far as to set a season pass, I will let you know that i rarely miss an episode. That I watch it is embarrassing, how I watch it is even worse. I watch the 1st 10 minutes to hear the sob story and I cry. Then I fast forward through the next 40 minutes right up until they move the bus so I can watch the family's reaction to their new house. Then I cry again, if it's a good one, but they know what they're doing - they rarely fail to get the emotional money shot.

Even though I'm crying I still have my cynical jerk hat on and I'm constantly wondering how they're going to pay the taxes on all their new shit, and what they're going to do with a 'Horton Hears a Who' bedroom when their daughter isn't 6 anymore. So I was super psyched to see a day by day profile of EM:HE in the NYTimes Mag this weekend.

I learned lots of new facts, like, they actually do do it all in a week, they do make 4 year olds do retakes till they steer their little wheelchairs across the lawn correctly, and ABC pays for exactly nothing besides the cast and crew.

Here's my favorite part:

'Turning a charity event into a spectacle — and allowing donors to see recipients weep with joy — was a fairly common practice at the turn of the last century. In 1891, the Christmas Society organized an event at Madison Square Garden where the wealthy were invited to buy tickets to watch poor children open Christmas presents on the floor below. Around this time, in New York and elsewhere, there were Bowery Christmas dinners, where the wealthy paid to watch the poor eat a sumptuous feast. There were even specialized events for watching groups of orphans, African-Americans or even newsboys get their fill.'

Did you know that??? See, olde tyme people are just as bad as we are. Or I am, at least.

Kooky Old Man Wears Makeup

Of course there's a zillion things I could say about John McCain but I'm trying to keep it lite! Fluffy! Glamorous! To that end...





















Obvi everyone on TV wears ridiculous amounts of makeup so this is hardly revelatory BUT does everyone pay $5,500 per application??? Sorry, but if that's what he looks like with a high priced face job I shudder to think what he looks like naked. Shiver, I mean, shudder.

Is there a reality TV connection??? Duh, of course, it's psychedandsuch! The lady pictured here is Tifanie White who also did makeup for American Idol (hate) and So You Think You Can Dance (love). Make that money Tifanie! Maybe you can save up to spell your name right.

What's New in Muppets?

First of all...how in the eff did they get this shot from the Great Muppet Caper??? It went on for-ever.

Second of all, great Muppet news all around! If you're into that kind of thing, and I am. There's a new Muppet movie coming out and it's being written by Jason Segel, from How I Met Your Mother and the writer/lead of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I've been crushed out on that kid since Freaks and Geeks, but I think I got over it after seeing him naked for so long in Forgetting. TMI Jason.

Anyway! He's a Muppet traditionalist so there'll be no Muppets from Space or Muppet Treasure Island funny business going on. I personally think Muppets from Space is hy-sterical, but I look forward to a return to a more Capery kind of movie. Especially if it involves synchronized swimmers, diamond theves and Miss Piggy on a motorcycle. Plus lots and lots of Animal, Janis and Dr. Teeth.


But wait! There's more!!
MTV is working on a 'black' version of the Muppets with Kanye West. You have to scroll way to the bottom for the brief mention. That's basically all the info I could find on that subject but I will obvi keep you posted.





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Update from bestie Jeff in Boston - brought to you from the good people at the muppet wiki - how the muppets rode bikes..TA-DA! My childhood is officially over.

Oprah Again!

Maybe you know, maybe you don't but Ms. Oprah will be on 30 Rock this November!!! They filmed the segment earlier this week and in a press release Tina Fey stated, "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends."

Oprah Changes Lives

Oprah changes lives is something my mom and I say a lot in jest when we're talking about her or her show, but anyone who's watched Oprah with any regularity over the past 20 years knows that she straight up does change lives.

It's the reason why whenever you see Oprah talking to women on the street at least 50% of the time the women break out crying before they can say anything.

There's an article today in the NYTimes about the unstoppable popularity of Oprah in Saudi Arabia where the show has been broadcast since 2004. The weird thing is, only shows on homosexuality are censored. Why weird? Because most women in Saudi Arabia can't drive, can't show any part of their body including their face, and in many cases can't leave their homes. If you want to prop up that kind of strict patriarchal system maybe you shouldn't show Oprah twice a day.

In a country where women are forbidden to vote, or to travel without the permission of a male guardian, a sense of powerlessness can lead women to look for unlikely sources of rescue, Ms. Muhammad explained. “If women here have problems with their fathers or their brothers, what can they do but look to Oprah?” she asked. “The idea that she will come and help them is a dream for them.”

Nayla, the homemaker in Dammam, a Persian Gulf port city, says Ms. Winfrey helps her cope with a society that does not encourage her to have interests. “The life of a woman here in Saudi — it makes you tired and it makes you boring,” she said, sighing.

Like many Saudi women, Nayla struggles with obesity, a major issue in the kingdom because many women are largely confined to their homes and local custom often prevents them from participating in sports or even walking around their neighborhoods.

She says that Ms. Winfrey has inspired her to lose weight and to pursue her education through an online degree course, a method acceptable to her husband since she will not have to leave home.

God Bless you Oprah!

Lady Chatterley's Luv-ah!

Hehe, I was watching the 1st season of Mad Men last night and in one scene the secretary pool is all giggling over a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover. They lend it to the new girl with the admonishment, 'Don't read it on the train, people will get the wrong idea about you.'

That's funny to me because I'm reading Lady Chatterley's Lover and I ONLY read it on the train. I wish I could have scanned in the cover of the copy I'm reading because it's this really amazing stylized drawing of a woman all in black except for one pink nipple. It's also, according to the cover, the 1st edition to come out uncensored. Ooh!

There is a lot of sex but nothing that would raise an eyebrow now. I can see how it would make a stir 80 years ago though, it deals with some pretty post modern themes. Connie, the protagonist, has a rich, landed but crippled husband who can't service her, so she has a few pretty graphic affairs. One with an Irish writer who gets mad at her for not being able to climax when he does (they call it 'coming to their crisis') and one really juicy one with the studly grounds keeper who she can achieve simultaneous orgasm with.
That's how you know it's love.

I also like it because she's constantly referring to money and fame as 'the bitch goddess', which from now on I will also be calling them. Can you really say bitch goddess enough in one day?
I'm sure things will end disastrously for Connie as is always the case for free thinking women in fiction but what can you do? You gotta read something.

PS. this book has had some amazing cover treatment. You can just see the editor's meeting, "We have to convey sex but only use old paintings and black and white photos so people still know it's LITERATURE.'

Through the Looking Glass!

People!!! The 4th wall of Reality TV has come down!!
Actually, maybe it's the 5th or 6th wall...um, what kind of room is reality tv in, a hexagon? Probably more of a rhombus.

Whoa, off topic.
Much, much more importantly, someone I am tangentially acquainted with was on Project Runway! AND, on the very, very, best episode ever; this weeks Good Queen Fun, exclamation mark!

I was watching it late night at the bf's house. I thought he was asleep but OUT OF NO WHERE he bolts up and yells, "That's Steven!" Which scared the bajeez out of me because, as I said, I thought he was asleep.

He only heard his voice, which is uncanny, but low and behold, it was Steven but as his drag alter ego, LeMay!




Jake, who's very sensitive about embarrassing reality tv situations, almost had a heart attack waiting for Steven to get chosen by a designer. Ugh, he got Jerell and then was subjected to this horrible outfit.
Poor Steven!



Steven owns a rad vintage/tshirt/drag supply shop, Retro-Fit, in the Mission that used to sell Headline Shirts and Revel's lines, which Jake is the designer for. Besides selling my boyfriends tshirt designs, he's also known for his ridiculously amazing window displays.

He and Jake even collaborated on this great Flash opener for the Headline Shirts website that's an, I think, hysterical rip off of American Apparel.
You should probably check that out, and maybe buy some tshirts while you're at it.

Long story short I think they fell out a little over Jake's unwillingness to explore his homosexual side but we were still rooting for him to have a rad outfit and a fun time on Runway. ESPECIALLY because Steven's a totally huge Runway fan and throws a huge finale viewing party slash fashion show.

But then he gets the lame designer and the ugly outfit that was totally mocked in the judging. Here's what Tim Gunn said in his blog about this sequin mess, "This look was the biggest loser in my opinion: (Tim Gunn called it the worst dress!!!) The dress was a simple silhouette, albeit jazzed up by the piecing of the sequined fabrics; the green collar was too high and too GREEN for LeMAY's relatively short neck and fair complexion, thereby dwarfing her head and giving her a sickly pallor; and that fringe along the hemline?"

Steven handled the situation well, and I still think he looked great but yikes! It really made me think twice about how awesome it would be to be on a show. Sigh.

Regardless I'm trying to pressure Jake to reconnect with Steven so we can get the inside scoop on all things Runway. Will report back with my findings

Can I take a moment...

To show appreciation for my new style icon?
Her name is Renny and you don't know her because she's on a reality show that only looser reality tv nerds watch, Big Brother.

Despite the obvious handicaps of being on a CBS, summer, reality show, my muse, Renny, (too many commas? I can never tell) NEVER misses a chance to make every moment a borderline costume party.

The best thing about her is that she has the perfect look for EVERY activity. For instance this picture above, coffee and a little game talk?
I wouldn't naturally go for taupe leopard print caftan and a pink doo rag, but it's perfection!
Now get her 2 sugars and a little non dairy creamer!

About to be evicted from the house?? Time to make a good impression, and she is looking hot in her purple flapper dress purchased from the olde tyme photography shoppe.






For hanging off a fake tilting wall for a few hours, what else?
Black spandex? Check! Shiny blue animal/floral print mini dress? Check! Local fire department baseball cap? Check!
How did she fail to win this challenge??


Actually these pictures don't even begin to describe her sartorial awesomeness. All the weirdos who do screen grabs (including cbs.com) are so busy waiting for the Hooter's waitress to bend over in a bikini, that they're missing the best stuff! I swear she had one outfit, complete with head band and sunglasses, that was all different acid washed, pink denims.

I'll search out what screen grabs I can and bring you more in the future!
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Update! Renny was head of household this week (don't worry about what that is) so they couldn't help but get some photos of her, here's some good ones:
For cutting Dan's hair, a festive multi-colored hair pouf with matching magenta cat glasses and silky top.







And the best yet the festive Mexican top with the bizarrely out of proportion rose. Don't forget the pearl encrusted hoops!!
Yay Renny!

Britain's Missing Top Model

I don't know if you've heard about this show, it's like ANTM but British and, oh yeah, with disabled models.
So not missing like, 'breaking news another white woman is missing', but missing like, missing a limb. They've also kind of stretched it to mean missing like, missing the ability to get up and walk since some of the contestants are paralyzed and what not.
I didn't get to watch it since I'm cable-less but I do know that they crowned a winner!

Here she is, Ms. Kelly Knox, who was born with out her left forearm.

OK so, QUESTION: Being that she's totally beautiful, and who really uses their left arm anyway...would you give up half a non dominant arm to be this hot???

ANSWER: Yes, but only if I could have one of those prostetic claw arms. To be that hot and have a claw would be a total mind fuck. Yes!!!

Reality TV = World Domination

And honestly it can't come soon enough for me.

1. The Emmys will be hosted by the 5 nominees for Best Reality TV Host. For the ill informed thats Tom Bergeron (love him though he's nominated for dancing with the stars instead of the worlds greatest show, America's Funniet Videos. He's a champ.), Heidi Klum (duh everyone can agree that she's amazing), Howie Mandel (gag), Jeff Probst (He's a total prick but Survivor is like the Grandmaster Flash of reality TV so obvs deserves a nod), and Ryan Seacrest (uh, I got nothing).

Horifically neglected is Cat Deely from So You Think You Can Dance. Love you, love your outfits, you're the best.












2. I have a new mental illness to tell you about!!!
It's called the "Truman Show Delusion" from the Jim Carey get's serious vehical, 'The Truman Show". Just like in the movie people suffering from this delusion THINK they are the subject of their own reality show, being taped behind their back.
I can't wait till I get this.
Chickity-check --

The five patients Dr. Gold treated were white men between the ages of 25 and 34, the majority of whom held university degrees. "I realized that I was and am the centre, the focus of attention by millions and millions of people," explained one patient, an army veteran who came from an upper-middle-class upbringing.

"My family and everyone I knew were and are actors in a script, a charade whose entire purpose is to make me the focus of the world's attention."

The patient added that he planned to climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty, and if his true love were waiting for him, the puppeteer strings would be cut. If she failed to show up, he would jump to his death.

Doesn't sound delusional to me.