Dude, Make Love, Not War

I think the ruling cultural wisdom on war is that for any semi-formed society, it's just inevitable. Deal with it, tree hugger. But check out this article in Scientific American about Margaret Meads' take down of all those jerk neo-Darwinists.

In discussing the Eskimos Mead distinguished between individual and group violence. Eskimos were "not a mild and meek people," she noted. They engaged in "fights, theft of wives, murder, cannibalism," often provoked by fear of starvation. "The personality necessary for war, the circumstances necessary to goad men to desperation are present, but there is no war."

Super interesting.

Life

Stop. Snookie Time!

Do I have to explain who Snookie is? Even my friend Sam who prides himself on knowing nothing about TV said she was the best thing he ever saw. She's absolutely endlessly quotable on the Jersey Shore. I could easily quit my job and just spend 40hr a week compiling lists of quotes and animated gifs of her, but I need the money so that isn't going to happen. Plus Rich already does that at FourFour.

I do however want to clue you in to the pure joy that is following Nicole Polizzi (aka Snookie) on twitter. I follow a lot of reality TV people on twitter (no judgement!) but most of them are beyond innane. I get it, you're awake and headed to Malibu, your dog is your best friend, and you're getting ready to go to da club.

Please enjoy sampling of Snookie's wit and wisdom from the past 4 days.

- lol every car that I pass people just look miserable. I'm about to fist pump outa the window to put some smiles on these new yorkers

-i think im the only person that would lose her nose ring while dancing. it legit flew out =( damnit (-_-)

- wow this cop broad loves to ride that horse down 8th ave...easyyy

- can I just have a week off so I can escape upstate to relax & rip it on the snowmobile? k thanks

- shamwow guy says were gonna love his nuts. I don't think so

- a bird just attacked this guys ass in the airport lmao wtf goes on

- i like tribal tattoos! Yum

-i forgot my clips! no poof tonight! =( still goin wild tonight! yay ft laud

-gettin ready and goin down to the cascino to fist pump with the 900 senior citizens here @hardrock

- just did the weather for the tristsate area! its gonna snow pickles tuesday. Now to Inside Edition to do Snooki makeover

That's weird, it's not snowing pickles here...

Clerks

I saw Clerks when I was 16 and it changed my life forever. Well it changed my life for the next 2 summers because I spent them working at convenience stores in Jersey.
Because Clerks made being a clerk seem cool. Apparently no amount of seeing myself in my smock could convince me otherwise.

Nothing exciting like having sex with a dead guy in the bathroom ever happened (thankfully). For $5.15/hr (no breaks) I smoked cigarettes, sucked the nitrous out of the Redi Whip cans in the walk in and birthed a disasterous lottery habit.

You can't win if you don't play people!



PS. Totally starting a metal band called 'Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans'

Tequilla!!!

A western New York woman is accused of mixing up a batch of antifreeze-laced margaritas for her live-in boyfriend, who died four days after drinking the toxic cocktail.

Plus, they're really high in calories and give you a wicked hangover.

I Wish These Were My Problems

I think the problem is, I spend too much obsessing about how to get money, and all my money on lottery tickets. Money's important (obviously) but I should spend more time manifesting these kinds of nights too.

The kind of nights that have open flames, lesbian supermodels and tripple XL animal print jackets.

I'll write that into my New Years Resolution list along with better posture.