Hee, Hee!

I know that Rush Limbaugh has his million man minions but I just can't take him seriously.

The things he says are just so over the top weird, I don't know, they circle back around to satire. Did you hear his comment on the whole John Edwards possibly impregnating but definitely banging a random blond who isn't the cancer-ridden mother of his children?
Check it - "Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something besides talk"

And then he goes on to connect the dots (though, I get it dude)

1. Elizabeth is smarter than John
2. Smart women are bossy and never shut up
3. When women talk it's a waste of good tongue flappin
EQUALS: You can convince a woman who is dumber than you to shut up and start sucking your cock

Ah, that brings clarity to the subject! Thanks Rush! Now I totally forgive him for imperiling the future of the Democratic party for four EM-EFFING more years.

Oh, and also I should probably work on my obnoxious smart-mouthy ways if I wanna keep my man meat around.

Sorry for the pot shot, Rush, I'm (kinda) better than that.

Reunited...and it feels so good!!!

Yeah, it's been a little while, but baby, believe me I was thinking of you the whole time.

Yikes, people!! My social life has been fucking with my online life. I can't access blogger from work because apparently they're on to our hijinks (damn them!) and I've developed a nasty (and expensive) after work drinks habit.
I don't know when to say when.

Anyhoo, prepare for a deluge of posts, cause I'm pent up and have a lot to say!!!

Princess Chunky Pt 2

OMG! Princess Chunky with Regis and Kelly!
Kelly Ripa, Princess Chunky and me, all from South Jersey.
Coincidence????
I think SO!

Britain's Missing Top Model

I don't know if you've heard about this show, it's like ANTM but British and, oh yeah, with disabled models.
So not missing like, 'breaking news another white woman is missing', but missing like, missing a limb. They've also kind of stretched it to mean missing like, missing the ability to get up and walk since some of the contestants are paralyzed and what not.
I didn't get to watch it since I'm cable-less but I do know that they crowned a winner!

Here she is, Ms. Kelly Knox, who was born with out her left forearm.

OK so, QUESTION: Being that she's totally beautiful, and who really uses their left arm anyway...would you give up half a non dominant arm to be this hot???

ANSWER: Yes, but only if I could have one of those prostetic claw arms. To be that hot and have a claw would be a total mind fuck. Yes!!!

You know, down there...

Have you been reading all this hoo ha about women being ashamed of their hoo has?

The first time I even heard about there being a difference between 'good looking vaginas' and 'ugly vaginas' was from a quiz in a women's magazine, titled 'Are you ashamed of your genitals?' which totally blew my mind.

I was like, the hell? Honestly I didn't even know there were a bunch of different ways for the dang thing to look. PS. I looked for this bitch all over the internet but couldn't find it, sorry. I'll post it if/when it comes back into my life. It's kind of a trip.

I shelved it, but remembered it later (because we were eating tacos) and asked my then bf what the deal was. Long story short, one of the reasons we aren't together anymore is that he couldn't stand being asked if a lot of women were embarrassed by their vaginas in the middle of a crowded taqueria.

Dating me is not for the easily embarrassed. Sorry Packard.

Anyway now 'vaginal rejuvination' is BIG business. That's everything from, 'having their vaginas tightened, their mons pubis liposuctioned, their labial folds nipped and their clitoral hoods tucked.'
What?

AND! This is all despite the fact that this shit runs up to 10 grand and most, reputable, gynos aggree,

“You’re basically taking a risk for no or very little benefit” with most of these surgeries, says Dr. Thomas G. Stovall, immediate past president of the Society of Gynecological Surgeons. Stovall warns that with labiaplasties and vaginal tightening, patients run the risk of developing infection and scar tissue, which can decrease sensation – or worse, cause pain – in the areas where incisions have been made.

As for the claim that vaginal tightening can enhance sexual gratification, Stovall insists “there is no scientific basis” to support it. “It might make it better for her partners,” says Stovall, but the female patient is taking a risk without much prospect of personal benefit.

So you're out the price of a super nice used car, and not only can you not feel pleasure, sex now hurts. BUT you have the labial folds of a 20 yr old. Nice.

Did you even know??

That the Green Party is running a presidential ticket with 2 women of color???



I know that the Green party is taken about as seriously as Lindsay Lohan's Leggings Line (alteration!) but really! With all the historic election talk and growing recognition of the effects of global warming, you'd really think this would merit a 30 second blurb on the end of the nightly news or half a paragraph somewhere in that liberal rag, the Jew York Times.

I mean, I live here at the corner of state sanctioned sodomy and earth first doggy yoga and today's the first sniff I got of it. I love me some Barak, but I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty tempted to cast my lot with Cynthia and Rosa.
Plus those names don't sound so Muslim.
Just kidding, just kidding.

I will say though, if you live in a lock Democratic state it might not be a bad idea to use your vote to send a message. Not only about race and gender, but about protecting, you know, the planet.
If you're like me, you have all your stuff here, and you don't want it to get all fucked with.