This is Why You're Fat

Blatant other blog shout out, thisiswhyyourefat.com

This little gem is, 'A seven pound breakfast burrito stuffed with potatoes, eggs, onions, and ham bits, lots of cheese on top and smothered in red chile.'

Holy cow!!
How is that only 7lbs??


Probably because I'm that annoying person who always wants the sauce on the side, complains when the salad is all iceberg, and makes my mac n cheese with whole wheat pasta, soy milk and broccoli (not as bad as it sounds!) I'm totally obsessed with gross food.

When I sleep over at the boyfriend's house I stay up late watching episodes of Man vs. Food (he ate a 72oz steak, shrimp cocktail, baked potato, dinner roll and a side salad in 30mins!!!), Bizarre Food (apparently the lamb's eyes are the best part) and the OG Iron Chef from Japan.

So, so satisfying.












Happy meal pizza, obvi.

Hippy for Hipsters

Like all ex-hippies, I now hate hippies. This is exasperated by living next door to what is basically a living museum of hippies, Berkeley.
HOWEVER the hippies do have some crunchy wisdom to impart. Try not to be prejudiced due to wackiness. Also, do not call me a hippy















If you live in the Bay Area, or are a Phish fan, you probably know that this is a girl using an ear candle. Maybe you got that anyway since she has a flaming candle sticking out of her ear.

I know this looks impossibly ridiculous but ear candles are awesome! They somehow suck ear wax out of your ear, it feels really good, and it's a funny thing to do on a rainy day. I first got into them because I was looking for a cure to my loud ass voice. I had this theory that it was because my hearing was bad and that if I got my ears all clean I would be able to hear how loud I was being. Um, obvi didn't work. I've come to terms with being loud and proud but I kept the ear candles.

Try them if you dare to set your ear on fire, and then admire your sucked out ear wax. Make it a competition with friends

Warning: Just don't do it alone, you need a friend and this girl is a fool not to having some tinfoil to catch that ash in.














The neti pot. Hippies want to clean out all the various orifices of their bodies naturally, and the nose and sinus cavity are no exception. This post is getting gross right? Sorry.

Seriously though, I could open a church of the neti pot, that's how much I love this weird little gravy boat. You should prob do it every day but pouring warm salty water into one nostril and out the other is not all that fun. Not surprisingly.

Works great if you think you're getting a cold or already have one, if you have a head ache that won't go away, when you're hung over or if you just have a runny nose.

Warning: Do not do this in front of anyone, especially someone you are romantically involved with. Even now the boyfriend will spontaneously break into laughter thinking about the demo I did for him. Now we give each other a wide berth while nasally irrigating.














This last one's only for people who actually live near Berkeley. Sorry.

Now there's lots of fruity vegetarian, vegan macrobiotic, tofu and raw restaurants that I like to go to, but I try not to inflict them on anyone but the boyfriend. I would never suggest anyone who can't handle a heaping helping of weirdos go to any of these places, but I will suggest you go to Amanda's.

Yes it's healthy, yes it's in downtown Berkeley, yes they have a really complex composting and recycling system and yes they make their own sodas in compostable cups, but when you get down to it its still burgers and fries.

Amanda's has become my #1 hangover spot because you get all the life sustaining qualities of junk food but without being forced to make the Sophie's choice of whether to run to the bathroom or fall asleep right after. Also it's cheap as hell, a burger (or a veggie burger) is only $3.75, and it's Niman Ranch! Believe it!

Warning: The clientele is annoying as hell and can take upwards of a year to order. Plus they make you sit at communal tables which is not my favorite as I can be pretty misanthropic when I'm eating.

Sad meals :(

I'm half Jewish (my Mom always says the conversion didn't take) and all Jews are brought up to be food obsessed basket cases. Always wondering where their next meal will come from and what it will be. Of course since my Mom's a Lutheran my family always wonders the same thing about our next drink. At family functions I'm constantly worried over for not eating and drinking enough.
Which sounds weird, I know.

Anyway, yes I'm food obsessed but I've def taken it in a different direction than my sister who has the pizza place around the corner on her speed dial, my Mom who remembers every meal she had in ever restaurant in every city in the world, and my Dad who just wants to be left alone to eat curred meats and onions on everything.

My food habits are sad (I think). My diet is based on a complex metric of healthy-ness, low fat-ness, cheapness and how many dishes will have to be cleaned in the wake of cooking. I absolutely loath washing dishes, and I try not to create more than one or two dirty dishes per day. Keep in mind too, I'm eating all me meals at home since I have no work to go to.
This leads to me eating a high number of fake meat products and baby carrots.

Here are some (sad) examples of recent meals-

In fact the concept for this post came to me as I was eating breakfast this morning:
Coffee, low-fat cheese on low-fat crackers and some sugar snap peas.

Last night for dinner I had:
a strawberry mochi, 2 veggie hot dogs (no bun, no plate, no mustard) a hand full of crackers and later some fruit salad at Erin's graduation ceremony (way to go Erin!!)

Earlier in the day I had:
a Totino's frozen pizza (my weakness!) 2 veggie burgers (also no bun or condiments) and a low fat cheese stick.

This is actually too pathetic to go on with but you get the idea.
I remember Jake one time asking me what was my favorite restaurant in San Francisco, a city chock full of amazing restaurants, literally to the gills, and I said Herbivore because most of the meals are healthy and low fat and it's really cheap. Le sigh.
So uncultured.