Contribution from a Friend

From my bestie Jeff in Boston, drum roll please.........Worlds shortest man, leggiest women meet.
That pretty much describes it. They bonded over how hard it is to find pants in Trafalgar Square earlier this week.

Regrets? I've had a few...

I'm up at 9:30 on Saturday morning posting to my blog because I almost killed myself Thursday night partying with some lady friends.
Friday work was excruciating and though I should be happy and grateful for my new job which I like so much, instead I was hiding and trying to stay awake, and um, not throw up again.

I realized that I frequently use the excuse of, "When I'm with 'person x' I get too excited, party too hard and endanger my health."
This is the excuse usually goes to my boyfriend since he's the one always dealing with the aftermath.

He called shenanigans on that yesterday morning pointing out that in the past month 'person x' has encompassed no less than 6 different individuals! The thought dawned on me that maybe they don't have an overwhelming party effect on me, it may in fact be me that is the bad influence. (sad trombone music)

I will take this epiphany to heart and try to moderate a little more when I'm partying for the rest of the summer.

To showcase the destruction of Thursday night, here is the text chain between myself, and my two friends Lynsey and Mandy from Friday morning.

Lynsey to me: woke up in my bed naked w/my radio ON Mexican music playing. have to get my atm card from the owl tree this am...god Damn u r fun lol

Me to Lynsey: OMG I'm dying! Jake said I stumbled in reeking of perfume made fun of what he was watching, threw up and then got in bed and started snoring. Bad girlfriend!

Lynsey to me: That is the most amazing story. I smell like perfume too! WTF

Me to Mandy: (she's a little more of a lightweight) Are you okay? Sorry!

Mandy to me: How did I get home? threw up in my bed ;) Called in sick to work. I had fun you girls are wild :)

..................................................................................................................

Update: As of right now, Mandy will no longer go out with Lynsey and me for fear of the aftermath

Contribution from a friend

From my friend Cormac:
I'm pretty sure this is the foulest thing ever uttered in a financial report: "Countrywide's taint even spread this month to the presidential campaign". Eeeeww.

I like a man with an eagle eye on financial times. I countered with a 'pullout' joke about Iraq but really that's so pre surge 2007.
Give me overnight to think of a good one.

PS. Could he be cuter? Any more cute? Of more directly cute decent?

Shout out!!

Just have to give one to one of my very B, GBFs, Dimitri, who is coming to see me all the way from Sunny Phoenix this 4th of July. I even told him that the 4th is almost always the coldest week of the summer, but he was not deterred.
(But for reals!!! I can never get over having to wearing mittens to the fire works! This is not how California looks on TV to a young, impressionable Jersey girl.)

Just to prove his awesome-nicity here's an excerpt from his email to me about visiting:

Anyway, I AM SOOO EXCITED! Break out the Asti Spumante, cause I'm getting ready to rock with your posse!

Oh, and tell you BF that I am gay and he won't have to worry...I want to be you, not sleep with you!!!!

I think you could all learn a lesson about admitting you want to be me.
Don't be scared, no one will judge you.

Oh, and this is how he responded to me asking what airport he was flying into:

Oakland, Duh. SF is for hippies:)

Asserting Oakland's superiority over San Francisco is always like a sucker punch to the heart for me. Some people are just disgustingly perfect.

What do you do when you're unemployeed?

I had a very interesting unemployed week this week. I say unemployed though I did do a few things that involved getting paid. I mean unemployed in a 'regular gig' kind of way.

One of the ways that I scavenge money from the landscape is by doing contract work for my previous employer. If you're thinking write a press release, or design a web page then you don't have my kind of work history mister sister. Contract work for me meant getting up at 8am on Saturday morning to lead 15 Bay Area singles on a 4 hour hike in the rain. Wheeeee!

Monday I repainted 2 dressers, I have all the time in the world, but limited paint. I have only the choice of colors my friends have painted their walls. Leftovers-ville, but honestly they look pretty good, and significantly less like furniture I bought or found on the street.

Wednesday I made the mistake of going to one of those 'Job Fairs' that sometimes spring up in downtown hotels. Since I am not interested in becoming an SF police officer (I don't care how many posters they put up in BART showing smiling cops patrolling the Presidio on bikes, I am not buying what you are selling.) nor do I want to drive a MUNI bus, it was kind of a waste of an interview shirt.

Wednesday night I got a text from Alika at 10pm saying 'I'm at the Alley if you get a wild hair'. I think is was her use of wild hair that really got me, even though I was already in my pjs. 10 may be late to go out if you have a job but...

Also if you don't live in Oakland, and you don't know the Alley, it's kind of special, to me anyway. the decor can best be described as a set for a hobo comedy set in the 20's complete with fake pawnshop exterior and old laundry hanging from the wall. I searched google but couldn't find a photo of the awesome portrait of the owner but here's a pretty good photo of the interior.














What the Alley is really known for though is Ron Dibble.
He's somewhere around 200 years old and he knows the words and music to every American song written before 1965. Frustrated musical theater majors have been gathering around his piano for decades and it lends a really rad vibe to the hobo theme.

BC unemployment I snuck in my own liquor and just ordered soda water all night (don't worry I tipped luxuriously). When the drinks are basically free and you don't have to work in the morning the night can easily lead you to the late night karaoke box when the bars close.
You have not lived till you've heard me sing the Pussycat Dolls 'Stickwitu'

However, sometimes it takes till 3:30am to remember that you have a phone interview at 9:30 in the morning. Yikes!

So at 9am Thursday morning I dragged myself out of bed, and I'm old so I was spectacularly hung over, to talk about my experience with a man who sells sex toys, and to convince him that I would be a natural for setting up sex education seminars for him.

Then another reality hit me, I had to drive to Fremont, which is 40 miles away, to participate in a market research study. Another creative money making venture. I won't go into the details but I was probably the most negative study participant they ever had. For some reason when it was over I couldn't find my car in the parking lot and had to walk around locking and unlocking the door with the little key chain thing that does just that.
Don't worry, I found it, I'm not still in Fremont.
(Fremont fun fact: Fremont has the largest population of Afghanis outside of Afghanistan. It's true!)

Today, Friday, I got to do the radest unemployed thing of all! There's a semi new publication out of SF called Meatpaper (there's a link to the right) and yes I'm a vegetarian, but it's like the most interesting magazine ever. A week or 2 ago I wrote them saying I had an abundance of nothing but free time and would love to meet up to help out in some way, and today I got to have lunch with one of the editors. Yes!!! So hopefully I will be able to start working with them in some way soon. Not really as a job but just as an awesome side dish.

So that's my week in unemployment! Enjoy it while it lasts because some grade A shit like me is not going to be on the market forever.