YouTube is Forever

I watched the 1st episode of the new Bachelor last night.

I think it's hard to to put too fine a point on how mortifying it must be to be one of the female contestants. The kind of humiliation that can only be matched by peeing on a school trip in 3rd grade, being called pee pants by everyone you know till you're 18, when you leave town and never look back. You won't even facebook friend anyone from your home town. That bad.

I mean being The Bachelor isn't exactly a shame free experience.

















THIS is the Bachelor. What a cheese-monger right? Plus he's a pilot so they've sub headed this season, 'On the Wings of Love'

The very 1st night 25 women in shiny, sparkly dresses get out of limos, try to have a magical moment with the Bachelor, get drunk, body snark each other, spew sexual innuendo and cry. Then after 6hrs of drinking, 10 of them get booted out the house.
Great for me, a lifetime on YouTube for them.

Think I'm exaggerating? Here's the 21st through 24th women the Bachelor met that night, and the cringe inducing way they came up with to 'stand out in his mind'.
Shiver.

(by the way, YES, these are pictures I took of my TV. Don't you dare judge me.)














Girl #21 said, 'I want to tell you something,' followed by 30 sections of Cambodian which he (obviously) didn't understand.

That was her whole thing. She thought he'd just be so dying to learn what she said that he'd keep her around for 4 more days. Really?

Except it turns out that what she said was, 'Jake you can land your plane on my landing strip anytime'. Because he's a pilot.
So, touche, but also, ew.















Girl #22 made, MADE, a 3rd grade art project of desperation for this guy. Who is a stranger.

It was supposed to show, like, all the different reasons he should pick her or where they were going to go on vacation...don't know, doesn't matter.

The woman photoshoped their pictures together, pasted them on to a twister wheel, flew it to LA, brought it into the limo, made a strange man spin it and then brought it into a televised 'cocktail party'. What kind of person thinks that's okay.

She also (cringe) changed into a 'sexy' flight attendant costume during the 'party'. Because he's a pilot. #22, he sees stewardesses every day at work, it's like dressing up as a rack of lamb on your 1st date with a butcher.















The very first thing Girl #23 told the Bachelor was that she was already totally and completely obsessed with him.

When he was on the Bachelorette last season she would throw a pajama party with her friends each week just to watch him. They'd practice their first names with his last name and kiss the back of their hands and draw pictures of him on a unicorn and just swoon.

Why don't you just tell him you have a urinary tract infection. That's not even playing kind of hard to get.















And Girl #24, well she brought a basket full of single serving size jelly beans. Why? To hand out to the women who get kicked off before her. As a nakedly bitchy parting gift.

Not only does she try to seduce the Bachelor with this information (which, how?) she hands them out early during the 'cocktail party' to intimidate the more emotionally fragile of the group.
She is obviously going to be the 'I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to find love' Girl. But for now she's just Girl #24

These are only the girls from the 4th limo!

I really can't tell what's going on here. Does something happen to you in the process of being recruited for this show, like do they put something in the bottled water that warps your brain? Or is the casting dept just really, really good at finding and recruiting extremely beautiful, marriage hungry women with exceptionally low self esteem? Or, god have mercy on us all, are there just a lot of women out there who are like this?

If you know, please tell me.